Did you grow up without a Dad in your life?
I’m not just talking to the men here who grew up without ever knowing their fathers. I’m also writing this article for those whose fathers were physically there, but emotionally distant… and also for the men whose fathers ran away from their responsibilities. I know there are many of us out there. I should know – my own father ran away from his responsibilities to our family.
No matter the exact circumstances, an absent father puts the average man at a serious disadvantage in life. Studies have shown that fatherless kids are more likely to get addicted to alcohol/drugs, lead unsuccessful lives, or end up in prison.
But personally, I didn’t use my Dad’s failure as an excuse for my own failures. Today, I’m a successful entrepreneur, author, and business/life coach – and it’s all because I learned five valuable lessons from all those years of growing up without a father.
I’m sharing those five lessons with you today, in hopes that it will help you find the success, happiness, and peace all fatherless men look for.
Lesson #1: You MUST Get Stronger Mentally.
Mental strength comes in the form of standing up for what you believe in, helping those who rely on your strength, and facing your fears. It also comes in the form of rising from failure, accepting criticism, and shouldering your responsibilities to whatever end.
The good news: Physical strength often leads to mental strength… so start working out.
Lesson #2: Be a “Dad” to Your Kids.
The saying goes: “Any fool can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a Dad.” It basically means what you think it means: Any man can biologically father a child. But not every man has the strength to love, raise, and protect a child.
My own personal response to my father not being in my life was to be the best Dad my son could ever have. Make it yours, as well – it’s going to pay off down the line.
Lesson #3: Find Another Father Figure.
Every man needs a father figure, no matter how old he gets. Your father figure doesn’t need to be around, or even alive – most successful men who make father figures often leave their legacy in books, videos, and foundations. And just like with a real Dad, you can listen to their advice and mold your own growth as a man after theirs.
In my own life, my father figure was my brother-in-law, Dr. Sunday Enubuzor, PhD. He was the one who taught me most of the lessons you’re reading in this article.
Is there a great man in history you look up to? Perhaps he can become your father figure.
Lesson #4: Forge Your Own Way to Success.
Many men follow what their absent fathers did for a living. That’s fine if it’s also your passion… but if you feel deep inside your calling lies elsewhere, then I suggest you listen. Going down the “road less traveled” can inject a huge dose of meaning into your life, as it did mine.
Lesson #5: Stand on Your Own Two Feet.
Do you have “victim mentality?” It’s basically when you blame your bad luck in life on someone or something outside of your control – in this case, your father and his absence in your life.
Don’t think that way. After all, when you blame someone else for your misfortune, it means you’re waiting for that person to save you and make things right.
Friend, your Dad won’t save you. For that matter, no one else will. Only you (and God, if you let Him) can do that.
Once I realized that, I let go of my anger and resentment towards my father and forgave him. And once I started taking responsibility for my own destiny, that’s when things started to get better for me.
And things will get better for you, too, when you learn the five lessons in this article. May it help you, as well, as you journey towards becoming a better man.
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