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It is a common notion that all parents have an innate desire to provide their children the best life, education, food, shelter, and comfort possible within their means. In other words, all parents have the best interests of their children in mind.
However, this scenario is not exactly true. While most parents do want the best for their children, some parents are narcissists and do not exactly have their children’s best interests at heart.
It is natural and healthy to raise a young one with unconditional love and nurturing. But narcissistic parents make their children believe that they are only worth loving when they are perfect and meet certain requirements. Such parents are usually authoritarian and controlling. They use their children as a means for their personal gain.
Their children begin believing that their worth relies on the validation of their parents. They do not feel safe to voice their own opinions and be their true self. Golden Child syndrome is developed because of the manipulation and extreme control of narcissistic parents.
This article will discuss some distinct characteristics and telltale signs of a golden child.
The Individual Is Very Competitive
In narcissistic families, the children are turned against each other to encourage competition. Hence, the child grows up extremely competitive. They also strive to be the best so that they can get their parents’ approval.
They will make it a mission to secure the top position and will do anything to achieve it, even at personal risk. Their self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence rely on impressive achievements, praise, and honorable titles. Golden children will always seek perfection; hence, they are super competitive.
They Have an Overwhelming Need to Please
The overwhelming need to please parents and other authority figures is one of the main telltale symptoms of this syndrome. They will fulfill and satisfy all of their parents’ needs by going out of their way and making extreme efforts. They prioritize what their parents will think or feel before their own well-being.
No matter how ridiculous the requests of their parents are, they will accomplish and appease them. This is because they believe it is the only way they can receive love and affection. You will also find them not being vocal about their issues and opinions, especially to their parents, and they often bottle up their true feelings.
This is why they are also very competitive as they can meet the high expectations of their caregivers. No wonder the golden child syndrome is a clear sign that he/she is being raised by narcissists.
They Are Overachievers
Golden children are often studious and love the competitive environment in schools. They will work their fingers to the bone to get the best grades. They do not want to disappoint their parents by not being the best and will give their all to please them.
The golden child’s academic achievements will give ammunition to the narcissistic parents to feel better about themselves and look down on other people, even small children. These self-absorbed parents will go out of their way to brag about their kid’s achievements, making them their own accomplishments. And if the child fails to achieve the highest grades, their parents will berate them and blame them for not giving them something to be proud of.
To avoid such conflicts, the golden children put themselves under high pressure and will bend over backward to keep their parents happy. They feel or are taught to get the love and warmth they desire only after meeting these certain requirements. It is quite sad that they do not know the meaning of unconditional love.
They Fear Being a Failure
Since they have this uncontrolled need to please their parents by meeting their high expectations, they stress themselves out and become afraid of being a failure.
This is not their fault since when they fail to uphold the unrealistic expectations, their parents reprimand them extensively and will not hold anything back. Alternatively, such self-centered parents will manipulate their children and will claim their lives have been ruined or their image is tarnished simply because their child got a B instead of all straight As on their report card.
This instills a fear of failure in these naive young minds. The children get extremely frustrated with themselves when they are unable to achieve such unreasonably high prerequisites. They technically do not fail, but they deem not getting the highest scores as a failure.
They also do not have the haven or feeling to understand that failing is not the end of the world and that everything will be okay. Their parents do not assure them that everything will be okay when things do not work out. Some of these self-obsessed adults also tell their children that failure is not even an option.
Being concerned and upholding expectations are completely different. However, these lines are blurred by the parents as they use their “concerns” as a ploy to dictate every aspect of their children’s lives.
They Abide by Their Parents’ Strict Rules
It is natural for children to be carefree and not be shackled by many rules. It is a common phenomenon to find most children rebelling against their parents, especially when they are being dictated to. However, a golden child is different.
The golden child will follow every rule established by their parents no matter how strict and unfair they are. They will never question these rules and will not even dare to defy them. In most cases, they even end up compromising their desires to take up their parents’ choices.
By living up to their parents’ expectations and abiding by them, they believe they are on the safe side and can keep their parents content.
Their Expectations Are Overwhelmingly High
Golden children are typically perfectionists. They tend to be immaculate, and they are completely obsessed with it. By growing up with the belief that impeccability is everything, it is innate for them to seek flawlessness.
Hence, their own expectations and standards are overwhelmingly high. They feel they have disappointed themselves when they fail to live up to such high standards. They get disgruntled when a tiny error occurs and beat themselves up because they find their worth by being perfect.
Final Words
Golden child syndrome is the aftermath of helicopter and authoritarian parenting by narcissistic parents. Such syndrome has a detrimental effect on the mental health and overall well-being of the child.
Adults who grew up with this syndrome struggle with certain issues that most normal people don’t have. Addressing this condition and treating it will circumvent this predicament.
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