In lieu of a present, Mike Reynolds offers his daughters some words of advice on International Women’s Day
—
I’m a man who grew up with two brothers and no sisters. My best friend in elementary school was male, same thing in high school. My idol growing up was Mario Lemieux—he also identifies as a man. This is my way of saying that I don’t know what to get my daughters for International Women’s Day.
My decision is made a little easier by the fact that I have no money. Even if I did, I don’t think I’d want to buy them jewelry or chocolate or flowers or anything else I’ve learned from Valentine’s commercials that “women like.” So it’s words that they’re going to get. Not words in an already written book, words written by a man with no idea what it’s actually like to live even one minute as a woman. Should that stop me from trying? Probably. But that’s why I’m starting my tips with 1.) Your dad will be wrong more than once. He may even be wrong more than he is right, but he’s doing his best to help you grow into a caring, intelligent, responsible, independent, and loving woman. I’ll tell you right now that I don’t know exactly what that entails—I have no roadmap, but I’m trying my hardest.
From there I’m going to get a little more serious and say that 2.) I hope you find a woman you love, either as a friend or as a partner to help you out of (and probably get you into) tough times. Your mom and I will support you in whatever you do, but a lifelong companion, whether you end up talking to them about your loved ones or whether they become that loved one, isn’t something we can be.
Something else I’ve always wanted to tell you since you already know you can grow up to be whatever you want is that 3.) It’s important for you to realize other women (and men for that matter) are allowed to be whatever they want to be too. We tell you all the time that others should be accepting of you but it’s equally important for you to be accepting of others. You won’t always agree with people all the time, and that’s ok, but you need to respect their right to think.
4.) Unless what they think is filled with hate. Then I hope you have more courage than me and feel better prepared to challenge people for their hateful view. Stick up for the marginalized and let people in power know that people like you won’t allow hatred to go unopposed. I could shorten this to read “be like your mom and your grandma.”
But please, from time to time, still 5.) Act as daddy’s little girl. Let me hold your hand or brush your hair or read you a story when you’re 30. I know as you continue to grow into a strong woman I’ll look less like the man who gives you piggy back rides and more like the guy you bring your family to see at the holidays. But from time to time, I’d be grateful if you could, as they say, “respect your elders” and humour me with remembering the times we’re having right now. The times when I can stick my head into your bedroom and give you a kiss on the forehead, the times when I can fix a problem with a band-aid. Most importantly, the times where we can finish so many of our conversations with I love you.
That’s it from me, I hope you enjoy your gift. Now 6.) Get back to being who you are.
♦◊♦
Article originally appeared on PuzzlingPosts.com; Credit—Photo: Michael C./Flickr
most notably in the compulsory conversion of non-Muslims to Islam and the forced circumcision of Teso, Turkana and Luo men in Kenya, as well as the abduction of South-African teenage boys to so-called circumcision schools (“bush schools”) In South Africa, custom allows uncircumcised Xhosa-speaking men past the age of circumcision (i.e., 25 years or older) to be overpowered by other men and forcibly circumcised.
Are there countries where women are not forced into the military?
Thanks for all the comments, Tom. That was really sensitive for all the women worldwide and their battles. What a sensible guy.
Last thing. I’ve suffered from heart disease for MANY years, 6 heart attacks, stints and a quintuple bypass. And what does the Am.Heart Assoc. have? “Wear Red for women” month to raise the awareness of heart disease in WOMEN. Heart disease has been one of the leading causes of death with men for more years then I can remember.
Yeah women are far better and have the same rights as men worldwide, it seems some “good men” want to believe. Oh, and America does not oppress women in any way anymore, yep. And well, women have never been considered men’s properties as well, I think they believe. So let’s make the Men’s day, White History Month and give more attention to the Straight Pride Parade. (tip: men’s – and white and straights’ – day is everyday) But okay, even if you want a men’s day – can’t you stop complaining and only thinking about yourself for a moment and… Read more »
Considering I’ve been married for 39 years, raised a daughter, have had battered women in my home under “transitional housing, I would venture to say that I have no problem with women. What I have a problem with is that women want to be equal but get special treatment. ever been on a ship, “women and children fist.” As I mentioned in an earlier response, I don’t see 18 year old women lining up for selective service? I don’t see women suicide rate on the rise and I sure as heck have not seen VAWA do anything to help battered… Read more »
… and that was NOT about that. That was NOT about men’s problems and the very few things women may be in better position – that also have a worse struggle in contrast anyway. That was about women’s day, their struggles and their problems, their battles and their victories. Women’s Day is NOT about special treatment. Also, my comment was not exactly for you, for for all American males that act as asinine as you whenever we talk about women and their struggles in this world. You are a very obsessed and ignorant individual. “And well, women have never been… Read more »
” What I have a problem with is that women want to be equal but get special treatment. ever been on a ship, “women and children fist.” As I mentioned in an earlier response, I don’t see 18 year old women lining up for selective service? I don’t see women suicide rate on the rise and I sure as heck have not seen VAWA do anything to help battered men.” The women and children first was not created by women (or children). And one of the reason it is still alive is because men are stronger, so they can help… Read more »
The same thing that we got our son for International Men’s day …. oh wait, there is no such thing.
Yawn. What a dull reactionary response. Do you complain about Black History Month too? Just because there’s one day where people call out the fact that women are oppressed and marginalized in many places across the globe, that women don’t have the same rights as men, that women don’t get paid the same as men – that, in no way, makes men into victims or gives men the rights to act like pouty little whiners and say “but we don’t have a day of our own.” Yes, men can be victimized, but you’d have to be a blind, willfully ignorant… Read more »
Um… show your work. I don’t believe in the existence of this alleged data.
Are there countries where men aren’t allowed to drive or vote or go to school? Are there countries where men are forced to be circumcised against their will? Is there statistical data that shows that men are raped expotentially more often than women?
The obvious, obvious answer is NO. Your “data” is a lie.
Yawn is right … same old world where we put women on pedestals for simply being women. Wow, what a great accomplishment that we should have a special day for them. I thought the idea of “feminism” was to put women on equal ground? So I guess there should be no reason to have a special day for them, right? But then again, I’ll shake the women’s hand when she’s coming out of the selective service center at the age of 18 … oh wait, women don’t have to sign up, that’s just the guys.
Tom – Your many, many arguments for how men have it worse than women are so incredibly flawed. They all come from a place that argues “Hey, aren’t we all supposed to be equal? Why are the women getting all the attention?” But Tom – things aren’t equal. Women earn less than men, they’re barely represented in the government, they’re attacked and raped way more often than men, there are countries in the world where women can’t vote, can’t drive, can’t decide who they want to marry. There are NO countries in the world where women dominate the government. There… Read more »
You’re right Tom. You’ve lived as long as I have and experienced as much. I don’t know if you realize where you’re at but last glance it was Good MEN project. There are plenty of feminist sites I believe you would feel very much at home.
I respect you for your armchair critique but when you start walking the walk as I have FOR women, then we will have something to talk about.
Tom, shut up your reactionary brain already. Come on dude, you do that to women and LGBT people all the time. You get a sadistic kick out of it, I’m sure. “I thought the idea of “feminism” was to put women on equal ground? So I guess there should be no reason to have a special day for them, right?” We have “special international days” (pay attention to the international word here) or national days as well for black people, women and lgbt people for the rights they were denied only for being women, black or gay. For the rights… Read more »
November 19th Tom, though the response is pretty fallacious too.
OirishM, I guess so because I’d never heard of it.