We asked some of our favorite dad bloggers, if they had their way, what would their kids pick for their New Year’s resolutions? Here’s what they said …
It’s that time of the year—the END of the year—so, as we look forward to 2014, it’s natural for our minds to turn to the tricky subject of New Year’s Resolutions. Because, let’s be honest, finding a resolution that you can keep for the whole year long is almost impossible. Yes, self-reflection and setting goals are important things to do, but they can also be exhausting, particularly if you’re a parent. Isn’t resolving to not go crazy after soccer practice, homework, and bath-time enough? Why can’t we be carefree and oblivious for a change and let our kids worry about cutting back on the soda or how many books they’re going to read in 2014? That’s why, this year, we asked some of our favorite Dad bloggers—if this was a perfect world—what would their kids ideally pick for their New Year’s resolutions for 2014?
DADS PICK THEIR KIDS’ NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS FOR 2014:
I’d have my kids resolve to refrain from asking me to adjust the music volume, change the radio station, and/or alter the internal temperature of the vehicle until after I’ve just navigated the world’s most dangerous intersection.
—Cort Ruddy, RuddyBits.blogspot.com
For my 11-year-old son, resolve to spend less time arguing about doing the chore than the amount of time that it actually takes to do it. For my six-year-old daughter, resolve to stop telling me in the morning that you wish school was never invented and that I’m the meanest dad for waking you up to go to something that shouldn’t have been invented. For my two-year-old son, I get it, you like breaking things, but you’re too young to have anger issues, so let’s work on something more positive like resolving to color or hug more. For my three-month-old daughter, maybe, in 2014, we can resolve to stop having massive poo explosions in public that are so bad we have to go home to change you and the person that was holding you.
—Dan McCauley, founder of Misflix.com
For 2014, I would love it if my seven-year-old daughter would resolve to finally learn how doors work. Specifically, doors that swing outward. Because, if we’re walking out to the car, and I’ve got my arms full with my briefcase, her backpack, grocery bags, and/or various accoutrements, and she stands DIRECTLY IN FRONT of the car door, impatiently waiting for me to open it… I mean, come on. The door is going to swing right at you. How have we not cracked this yet? Step to the side, back up a few paces… c’mon, 2014 is our year. We can do this!
Here are some resolutions for my son:
1. To eat something besides pizza, gummies, and cream cheese bagels. And realizing that trying something new will not cause him torturous bodily harm.
2. To realize that he can in fact poop on the potty without taking a half hour. I’m hoping my husband will make the same resolution.
3. To understand that a well-timed “Pweeze Daddy?” and a bat of his eyes will get him pretty much anything he wants. Unlike dropping to the ground and hollering like a demon-possessed hyena.
—Brent Almond, Designer Daddy
Mine would probably be to try to get my 21-month-old daughter to eat something…ANYTHING!!
—Lorne Jaffe, Raising Sienna
This is what I would hope my kids say when the ball drops on 2013…
Worm (2.5 yr old): I will try not to freak out my parents by fasting between sunrise and sunset for more than one day a week.
Smush (1 yr old): I will try to only eat things that are a). edible, b). fit completely in my mouth, c). chewable with only four teeth, and d). can be pooped out.
Me (the SAHD): I will try not to obsess/worry/cry about my children’s odd eating habits. If I keep them alive for another day, I will pat myself on the back for it.
—Dylan Jawahir, Me vs. Gavin
My resolution for my three year old is that she will work on spontaneously cleaning something (anything!) up, without being asked. Just once, for us to know that it’s possible, to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Also, to resolve to express her sorrow through song instead of screaming, like in a musical.
—Neal Call, Raised by My Daughter
I would like my three-year-old daughter to resolve to make more girl friends so my heart doesn’t skip a beat every time she asks me if a boy can sleep over. And it would be nice if my one-year-old son resolved to pick up a few more words, so I don’t feel like we’re playing charades all the time when he wants something.
—Adam Dolgin, Fodder 4 Fathers
My kid’s only going to be seven weeks old at the end of 2013, so it’s going to be a year of big changes. My resolution will be pretty speculative because of it.
Resolution: To learn that being changed, clean and getting dressed actually make you feel better, not worse!
—Casey E. Palmer, http://caseypalmer.com
To get my son to get outside more and start riding his bike (and hopefully enjoy it).
For my six-year old-daughter: My resolution for her is for her to start opening her eyes and really look when she is trying to find something. She will come downstairs in a tissy because she can’t find a toy. I come up the stairs to help for the search and, before I even step in the room, I can see it on a shelf or her dresser. I call this one: For her to open her eyes.
For my three-year-old son: For him to resolve to learn that the toilet is not a storage area for his cars, the toilet paper holder, his mother’s shampoo, and the 20 bazillion soggy toilet paper rolls we have found there. This stems from me making an emergency trip to the hardware store in a snow storm for a toilet auger. I call this one: Hot Wheels don’t enjoy the toilet.
—Justin Connors, http://lifein140.com
Seeing as how my daughter is only 14 weeks old, I could write a list the length of my arm, but if I had to pick one that would benefit everyone, it would be for her to resolve to figure out how awesome naps are. If I could take one every day, oh man. She sleeps like a champ at night, but it’s like she forgets how to sleep during the day. We often rock/sway/bounce her longer than she actually sleeps.
—Seth Burleigh, FortyWeeksLater.com
So, parents, if it were up to you, what would be your kid’s New Year’s resolutions? Tell us in the comments section below.
Credit: Photo—Anthony Quintano/Flickr