After imagining what kind of man his daughter would marry one day, Nick Pavlidis came up with this simple test to determine if he was, in fact, a terrible husband. (He failed.)
I look everywhere for marriage lessons. Yet I was still surprised this weekend about where I stumbled upon a one-question quiz to tell whether I was still a terrible husband—My daughter’s smile.
On Saturday morning, I had the pleasure of spending two hours alone with my daughter. She’s two-and-a-half, almost to the day. We ate breakfast, played, sang, hugged, danced, and just had a great time. We smiled so wide and laughed so hard that our cheeks were sore and stomachs were in pain.
As she smiled at me, I couldn’t help but wonder about the future—her future.
Who would she be? What would she do? Who would she marry?
The marriage question stuck with me for a minute or two.
I thought about meeting her husband for the first time, walking her down the aisle, and dancing with her at the wedding.
What would she look like? Would she still have the same face? Would I still see this same smile that day? Those same cheeks? The dimples?
What would he be like? What kind of man would I want for her?
That last question stuck with me for a little while. I starting listing characteristics of a man I would want for my daughter in my mind.
And then my heart dropped. I was describing the exact opposite of what I had been for so long, and sometimes still am in moments of laziness or lack of focus.
And there I had it.
The one question quiz that will tell you if you’re a terrible husband:
Are you the type of person you would want your daughter to marry?
It’s a big question, for sure. But it’s an effective one.
Take some time. Explore some of the factors.
Would you want your daughter’s husband talking to her like you talk to your wife? Your tone? Your facial expressions? Your body language?
Would you want him to spend more (or less) time with her?
Would you want him to have your habits? Motivation? Attitude?
To spend money like you do? To work like you do?
Yes? Great. You’re probably a pretty good husband.
No? Well, you might just have a punch-list of things to work on yourself.
What can you work on this week to get closer to the type of guy you would be happy for her to marry?
This post originally appeared at Confessions of a Terrible Husband: Lessons Learned from a Lumpy Couch; Image: Credit—Christos Loufopoulos/Flickr