Mark is the most pretentious person I know. He loves to talk about himself and his accomplishments, but he’s also quick to put others down. He loves to name-drop and make himself seem more important than he is.
When he called me ecstatically one rainy Friday afternoon to invite me to drinks to meet the love of his life, Ruby, I was skeptical because I knew how he loved to play the field. But, I was curious enough to meet her.
I’ll never forget the first time I saw them together. She was beautiful and he was… well, he was Mark. He had his arm around her possessively and was talking loudly about some party they had been to the night before. She laughed politely and nodded along, but I could tell she was uncomfortable.
It was obvious that he was trying to impress her and show her off, but it was clear that she wasn’t really into it. I wondered why she was with him.
Over the next few months, I saw them together more and more. And, the more I saw them, the more I realized that he was onlypretending to be in love with her. He was using her to make himself look good.
If you’re dating someone who is pretentious in love, it can be a frustrating experience. Here are nine signs that your partner may be too pretentious for you.
Here are 9 signs that your partner is pretentious in love:
1. They are always name-dropping
If your partner can’t stop mentioning the famous or wealthy people they know, it’s a sign that they’re pretentious. They’re trying to impress you by name-dropping and making themselves seem more important than they are.
Mark is always name-dropping. He loves to mention the famous or wealthy people he knows. He’s trying to impress you by name-dropping and making himself seem more important than he is. This did not change when he started dating Ruby.
According to relationship expert, April Masini, “Pretentious people are always trying to one-up you. They do this by name-dropping and telling you who they know, where they’ve been, and what they’ve done.”
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2. They brag a lot
If your partner can’t stop bragging about their accomplishments, it’s a sign that they’re pretentious. They ‘re trying to make themselves seem better than they are by bragging.
Mark loves to brag about his accomplishments. He’s always talking about how successful he is and how much money he makes. This intensified when he started dating Ruby. He also went on to make all the females in his life feel like they were less than because they could not bag a treasure like him until Ruby came along.
According to relationship expert, Jennifer B. Rhodes, “Pretentious people are always trying to impress you with their accomplishments or what they have. They may boast about their job, their car, their house, their clothes, or anything else they think will make them look good.”
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3. They repeatedly put others down
If your partner is always putting others down, it’s a sign that they’re pretentious. They’re trying to make themselves look better by making others feel inferior.
Mark loves to put others down. He’s always quick to point out other people’s flaws and shortcomings. This became even more evident when he started dating Ruby. He would often belittle her and make her feel like she was less than because she didn’t have his “perfect” life.
According to relationship expert, Jonathan Bennett, “Pretentious people often put others down to make themselves feel better. If your partner is always talking about how other people are stupid, ugly, or losers, they’re probably pretentious.”
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4. They have an inflated sense of self-importance
If your partner has an inflated sense of self-importance, it’s a sign that they’re pretentious. They think they’re better than everyone else and they expect special treatment.
Mark has an inflated sense of self-importance. He thinks he’s better than everyone else and he expects special treatment. This was especially evident when he started dating Ruby. He would often demand that she give him all her attention and time, and he would get angry if she didn’t.
According to relationship expert, Scott Carvill, “Pretentious people tend to see themselves as superior to others. If your partner always expects to be treated like a VIP or put on a pedestal, they’re probably pretentious.”
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5. They try to make it seem like they are perfect
If your partner is always trying to superficially impress you, it’s a sign that they’re pretentious. They want you to think they’re perfect and they’ll go to great lengths to make sure you do.
Mark is always trying to make it seem like he is the most perfect being that ever walked the face of the earth. He goes to great lengths to ensure that everyone around him thinks he is perfect in every way. This was especially evident when he started dating Ruby.
According to relationship expert, April Masini, “Pretentious people are always trying to act like they are perfect, and that makes them better than you.”
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6. They are always putting on a show
If your partner is always putting on a show, it’s a sign that they’re pretentious. They want you to think they’re perfect and they’ll go to great lengths to make sure you do.
Mark is always putting on a show. He wants you to think he’s perfect and he’ll go to great lengths to make sure you do. This was especially evident when he started dating Ruby. He would often put on a false persona around her in an effort to impress her.
According to relationship expert, April Masini, “Pretentious people are always putting on a show. They want you to believe that they’re perfect and they’ll go out of their way to make sure you do.”
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7. They are always trying to one-up you
If your partner is always trying to one-up you, it’s a sign that they’re pretentious. They want to make themselves look better by making you feel inferior.
Mark loves to one-up people. He’s always quick to point out how he’s better than everyone else. This became even more evident when he started dating Ruby. He would often belittle her and make her feel like she was less than because she didn’t have his “perfect” life.
According to relationship expert, Jonathan Bennett, “Pretentious people often put others down to make themselves feel better. If your partner is always trying to one-up you, they’re probably pretentious.”
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8. They love to pretend to be someone they are not
Pretentious people love to put on a show. They’re always trying to impress you and they’ll go to great lengths to make sure you think they’re perfect.
Mark loves to pretend to be someone he’s not. He’s always putting on a false persona around Ruby in an effort to impress her. This was especially evident when he would pretend to be interested in the same things she was.
According to relationship expert, Scott Carvill, “Pretentious people tend to put on a façade. If your partner is always trying to be someone they’re not, they’re probably pretentious.”
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9.They exhibit narcissistic gaslighting behaviour
Pretentious people often exhibit narcissistic and gaslighting behaviour. They want you to believe that they’re perfect and they’ll go to great lengths to make sure you do.
Mark exhibits narcissistic and gaslighting behaviour. He wants Ruby to believe that he’s perfect and he’ll go out of his way to make her doubt herself. This was especially evident when he would ignore her or make her feel like she was crazy for thinking certain things about him.
According to relationship expert, Jonathan Bennett, “Pretentious people are often narcissists who use gaslighting as a way to control others. If your partner is always making you doubt yourself or putting you down, they’re probably pretentious.”
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10. They have a sense of entitlement
Pretentious people often have a sense of entitlement. They think they’re better than everyone else and they expect special treatment.
Mark has a sense of entitlement. He thinks he’s better than Ruby and he expects her to treat him like he’s a king. This was especially evident when he would get angry with her for not doing things his way or for not meeting his unrealistic expectations.
According to relationship expert, April Masini, “Pretentious people often have a sense of entitlement. They think they’re better than everyone else and they expect to be treated as such.”
If your partner exhibits any of these pretentious behaviours, it may be time to reconsider the relationship. Pretentiousness is a major red flag and it’s not something you want to ignore.
On the flip side, here are some green signs you should not ignore.
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Final Thoughts
“The best relationships are the ones where you can act like yourself .” — Unknown
In conclusion, it is not so farfetched to say that when you are in love, you will know. You really will know. Trust the process. Avoid people who are pretentious in love. They will just break your heart and leave you to pick up the pieces.
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And now your thoughts…
Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section.
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Thank you for reading.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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