Today I thought it would be interesting to list as many dating and relationship contradictions I have heard over the past few years of writing on the topic, because why not?
Maybe if we poke fun at some of these absurd leaps of logic, it might encourage people to reevaluate their positions.
Let’s get right to it:
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I have heard men say they…
- Want a traditional wife but then complain when women care about a man’s material status.
- Prefer virgins or women with low body counts while promoting a hedonistic lifestyle as the ideal way to live.
- Complain about promiscuous women and the hookup culture but get angry when women refuse to put out.
- Want to find a good woman but routinely ignore them over the hot bimbo who shows little to no interest in them.
- Expect wifey treatment from someone they are casually dating.
- Want a girl who is experienced in the bedroom, but simultaneously, she must also be a virgin or have a low body count.
- Claim that women are happiest when in a marriage, but women also hate their husbands and kids.
- Claim to believe in egalitarianism while letting women do all the housework and take most of the child-rearing responsibility — all the while expecting the splitting of bills in half.
- Say women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of marriage, yet they whine over women initiating 70% of divorces. Which is it? You can’t have it both ways, fellas.
- Want a submissive feminine partner but then marry the bossy bitch because deep down, they have a rooted desire to be told what to do.
- Bash women for not choosing wisely, but get offended when women are more picky when dating.
- Resent their wives and girlfriends for not being interested in sex, but they get intimidated and or shame the women who do.
- Hate it when women expect men to take care of them, but at the same time hating on women who are independent and career-driven.
- Harp on about chivalry being dead and women are responsible for their safety but don’t like it when women are careful about who they meet and their surroundings.
- Postulate that women are emotional and easily manipulated by the media, yet they are also smart enough to impose gynocracy over the country.
- Say they are not looking for anything serious but give off boyfriend energy by going on dates, spending time together, frequently texting, having long phone conversations, sleeping over — basically doing everything that entails a committed relationship.
Now, it would be unfair if I poked at men for their faulty reasoning and left it at that. Women are equally capable of cognitive dissonance just as much.
I have heard women say they…
- Want to be equal to men while expecting men to lead in courtship.
- Insist personality is the most important factor, but routinely date men who mistreat them.
- Proclaim men are terrible in bed but seldom put in the effort to learn about their bodies. Ladies, if you don’t even know how to get yourself off, how can you expect men to?
- Complain about the lack of good men while ignoring the single, average-looking, albeit meek guys around them.
- Don’t like being sexualized, but they will go out of their way to act in a sexually suggestive manner, like posting thirst traps on social media.
- Want the perks of traditional dating but hate the idea of being a traditional woman themselves.
- Seek a man who has his own life but he should also worship the ground they walk on.
- Want to take it slow, but immediately sleep with that hot guy they matched with on Bumble on their first date, no less, just because he knows how to push their sexual buttons.
- Will not date a man who makes the same or less than them even though their salary is enough to support the whole family.
- Assert that physical traits are superficial and not an important factor when choosing a partner. And yet you find all their exes are tall, above-average-looking guys.
- State gender roles should be abolished while being repulsed at the thought of marrying a man who aspires to be a stay-at-home parent.
- Desire a man who is confident, ambitious, and dominant, but he must also be compliant to their wishes. He must be humble, and emotionally in tune with his feelings.
- Marry the good provider while secretly lusting after a man who is the antithesis of that.
…
In closing
Can you come up with other contradictions you have experienced? Or maybe you believe some on my list are justifiable. I would be interested in hearing your thoughts.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Houcine Ncib on Unsplash
