There’s nothing like the holidays to remind single people that they are – well – single.
Throw in a pandemic and the holiday angst some single people suffer from can shoot from mildly unpleasant to seriously painful as large family gatherings are scaled back and holiday parties canceled.
But all isn’t necessarily lost.
With the restrictions and worries created by COVID-19, this holiday season is a great time for singles to focus on themselves rather than worry about their relationships with others or bemoan their lack of a partner to toast the New Year with, says Acamea Deadwiler (www.Acameadeadwiler.com), author of Single That: Dispelling the Top 10 Myths of the Single Woman.
“Think of this as an opportunity to do what makes you happy and to make decisions without needing to consult with someone else,” Deadwiler says. “A little self-indulgence can be good for your mental and emotional well-being, even if that time is spent doing nothing at all.”
Deadwiler offers a few tips on how single people can make this holiday season merry and bright, despite the pandemic:
- Make a plan. Large gatherings may be out this year, but it’s still possible you and a few family members might spend time together, even if you’re wearing masks and social distancing, Deadwiler says. But just in case that limited celebration doesn’t happen – and even if it does – plan some special time for yourself, whether it’s taking a stroll on the beach, enjoying a favorite holiday movie while drinking hot cocoa, or hiking into nature on a crisp December morning. “You can immerse yourself in thought or be captivated by surrounding beauty,” she says.
- Take advantage of virtual connections. Although 2020 came with plenty of downsides, remember the upsides of living in the 21st century. That includes Zoom, Facetime and other ways to make a video connection with friends and loved ones. “It’s not the same as being there,” Deadwiler says, “but you can still make memories, just in a different way.”
- Embrace the alone time. Some men and women struggle more than others with being alone, Deadwiler says. They can become uncomfortable, bored and even sad. While she says there’s nothing wrong with seeking companionship, Deadwiler also insists that you can’t really know yourself unless you spend time with yourself, independent of the needs and influence of others. “Many of us don’t remember who we were before parents, friends, and society made us someone else,” she says. “In spending time alone, we get to hear our thoughts without all of the outside noise. We learn our authentic likes and dislikes, what we need, and who we are.”
“Certainly, I am not going to pretend that being alone is all sunshine and freedom,” Deadwiler says. “No matter how comfortable you are alone, we all desire companionship sometimes and can get a bit dejected when it’s unavailable, especially at the holidays if everyone else we know is sharing meals and gift exchanges with a special someone.
“But I also know that there is too much life to be lived to wallow in self-pity. There are benefits to being single and things to be enjoyed. Sometimes, the most important relationship you have is with yourself.”
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want a deeper connection with our community, please join us as a Premium Member today.
Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Photo credit: iStock