The more mature and secure women will see the absurdity of these questions.
There are answers to the questions from the man you are dating that will help you as a woman in any way.
Here are the questions.
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Qn #1: Will You Cheat On Me?
No man, in their right mind, would answer, “Yes, I will cheat on you.”
Does their answer guarantee that they won’t cheat? No.
Here is what’s wrong with asking your date such a question.
- He will do whatever he wants, and you have no control over his actions. His answer is irrelevant in the future.
- By asking the question, you either assumed he might cheat on you, or you are comparing him to other cheating men.
- Most women who ask this question feel they can be cheated on again.
The popular cliché is true; men are hunters.
But, they value familiarity and stability more than experimenting and risk.
What to do instead
Don’t ask him if he will cheat on you.
Be secure in your own queen power, and know that you can attract and keep a loyal man.
Practice and live by such a statement.
You don’t need his answer to know he won’t cheat you. But you can control his attention away from or towards you.
Think about this — men are like wild beasts that can become domesticated by the right master.
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Qn #2: What Makes You Different?
This question is all about comparison.
If you are shopping for a man, the question makes sense. If you want to build a life with a partner, the question is stupid.
At least two things will happen if you ask this question.
- He will fake his personality to please you, get what he wants, and then leave.
- He will see that you will always want to compare him, and that feeling will make him leave.
What to do instead?
The alternative is simple. Get to know your man, and you will know his uniqueness.
They don’t have to compare to your past relationships to work.
They only have to be willing to go through the process of building a relationship with you.
Both of you will figure out your unique way to create your unique relationship.
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Qn#3: Are You Going to Marry Me?
While researching these questions, I came across an interesting idea from Steve Harvey.
Men don’t dream about marriage. That’s a day for the woman.
Men dream about the woman of their dreams—the one.
How do you know you are the one?
Answer:
- If you are too important to him that it feels wrong without you, you are the one.
- If his life is much better and easier with you, he doesn’t want to be without you.
What to do instead?
Whatever qualities you have, there are men who are looking for those.
For example,
All men need support. And different women offer different types of support.
When you are the right support, he can’t feel better without you. He will marry you because he wants to take care of you.
Why care for you? He has to because you are his unique support.
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Qn#4: Do You Think She is Prettier Than Me?
Most women think the following is true, but it’s not.
If a man looks, then a man wants.
Your man gazing at the physical appearance of another woman doesn’t mean he will pursue her.
There is a complex process of pursuing a new woman in which most men are not willing to invest their time and energy.
If, and only if, they already have a stable source of what they need.
What to do instead?
When you ask the question, it triggers his attention to compare your beauty with hers.
Yes, looks are important, but if he asked you out, you already look amazing to him.
And trust me, he is not going around the street comparing you with everything he sees. Plus, you can’t be in control of what he looks at.
But. You are in control of who he stays with.
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Conclusion
Let’s keep it simple.
Make sure you are a person you would stay with if you were him. The rest will take care of itself.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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