I used to think attractive women were out of my league.
Instead of being excited to speak to them, I’d assume they’d want nothing to do with me.
It was a sorry situation. I’d land dates and had some relationships, but not with the women I truly wanted.
Thankfully, I learned the following secrets to turn things around.
1. The Superficiality Secret
The ‘Out Of My League’ concept is based on superficial traits like looks, money and status.
But there are other factors that women consider more, such as how you make them feel.
There are dummies out there that don’t realize this. I used to be one of them.
I thought that if I wasn’t handsome or rich, attractive women would be out of my league.
There are women out there who only value superficial qualities. A lot of them are on reality TV. Many go viral on TikTok. If you look good, you can make it big on TV or social media. Adverts and algorithms bombard us with superficial ideas. So, it may seem like superficial women are everywhere we look.
However, in the real world, smart women make romantic decisions based on their emotions.
I know because I learned how to stimulate women’s emotions in a certain way. This skill helped me to date more beautiful women, even as a 5’9” bald dude with dodgy teeth.
Now, I’ve made a career out of helping other guys learn this skill so they can date hotties too.
2. The Daygame Secret
It’s only the hot guys who find success on dating apps. That’s because they’re 100% image-based.
You can’t stimulate women’s emotions with words on a screen. Most dating apps won’t give you the chance unless a woman likes your photos first.
It’s possible to do so in nightclubs, although many pump the music so loud that it’s impossible to talk.
However, the easiest way is through ‘daygame’ — approaching women in daytime venues like shopping malls, beaches or busy streets. With no loud music or drunk friends to distract her, you can build an emotional connection far easier than in the club or on an app.
When I first heard this idea, it sounded impossible. You can’t just start a conversation in the middle of the street, I thought.
It turns out that you can. This puts you to the front of the queue for a woman’s attention and communicates many great things about you. Most men don’t know how to approach women in a fun and playful way that makes them comfortable. Not while they’re sober anyway.
When you do it, you can come across as a charming and exciting guy. The man who injected some magic into her boring everyday life. It can leave a real impact.
Some 77% of young women wish that men would approach them in the real world more often. So, there’s a good chance she’ll choose the man who does over the hundreds of dudes in her Tinder DMs.
Back in the day, I’d swap numbers with drunk club girls and hope they remembered who I was. The hottest ones never did.
Now, I’m meeting amazing women at food markets, coffee shops and wherever else I see them. Highly recommended.
3. The ‘Normal’ Secret
In my teens and early twenties, I was afraid to talk to beautiful women.
In my mid-twenties, I’d talk to them but couldn’t help but treat them differently.
I wanted to impress them. I was desperate to avoid rejection. So, I’d act like a kind and respectful guy who was interested in everything they had to say. My edgy jokes remained hidden away in case they backfired.
It’s widely believed that beautiful women want to be pedestalized like this. That’s not true.
Most of the hottest women are sick of this unearned princess treatment. They’re yearning for a guy who can treat her like a normal girl. A dude who’s not afraid to act stupid and tease her a little. A man who allows her to let her hair down and ‘be herself’.
When you can do that, you show you’re not intimidated by her. You believe that you’re in her ‘league’. And that can be enough to separate you from most men she meets.
The old Joe used to pepper women with compliments. Now, my ‘flirting’ looks like I’m making fun of a little sister.
4. The ‘Connection’ Secret
The hottest women don’t want compliments about their beauty. They hear that they’re beautiful all the time, so generic compliments mean nothing to them. When you make them, you get categorized with every other schmuck who just wants to sleep with her.
You need to set yourself apart from these mediocre men. An easy way to do that is to give a unique compliment and show some genuine intrigue.
With my ex-girlfriend, I complimented her style. She looked like an elegant young fashion student on her first trip to Paris.
Recently, I watched my buddy Ciaran Callam tell this hottie she had the posture of a fashion model. Her face lit up. She immediately felt ‘seen’. He had a reason to talk to her other than lust, and that helped her drop her guard.
If you can find a common point of interest with a beautiful woman, that’ll stop her feeling like a sex object. It’s a great way to get your foot in the door.
5. The ‘Chasing’ Secret
Compliment a woman on her beauty and she’ll know the chase is over. Whenever a guy ‘hits on’ her so blatantly, she knows she could have him at any point.
That’s not exciting for a woman. That doesn’t set off the emotional rollercoaster of wondering whether something is going to happen.
Whenever a woman has fallen for a man, she’s experienced that turmoil.
“Does he like me? Am I good enough for him? Is he going to call?”
If she doesn’t experience this inner anguish, she assumes it’s not a real crush.
That doesn’t mean you need to play these silly mind games and pretend not to like her.
Just treat her like a normal woman and refrain from gushing over her beauty. Crack a few jokes at her expense.
In my experience, that’s often enough to make a woman start chasing your affection.
6. The ‘Preselection’ Secret
There’s a reason why the hottest women aren’t on dating apps. It’s the same reason why they don’t agree to blind dates.
They don’t need to take that risk.
Dating is risky for women. Men are stronger than them. There are a lot of creeps out there. A first date with a complete stranger could be awkward or even dangerous.
Preselection is a powerful tool to eliminate this perceived risk.
When women notice you surrounded by other women, they assume you’re probably a cool guy. At the very least, you’re probably not creepy or dangerous. Most mass murderers don’t have female friends to hang out with.
I used to go to the bar with my equally desperate buddy to pick up chicks. Most of them wouldn’t talk to either of us. Nowadays, I like to make female friends and invite them to the bar with me.
Other women are far less guarded in this scenario so it’s much easier to drag them into the fun. Once you’ve seen how this works, you’ll never want to have a lads’ night out again.
7. The ‘Harsh Rejection’ Secret
It’s no secret that men are afraid of harsh rejections. Some women have no problem with humiliating a man who dares to try and flirt with them.
Unless you’re being a real asshole, the hottest women will usually dismiss you courteously.
With these tips in your pocket, it might go better than you expected.
…
Want to discover exactly how I approach and attract women? Join my free Skool community for exclusive footage of my approaches and a step-by-step guide to dating success.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
 |
 |
 |
 |
***
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—–
Photo credit: Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash
