Are you in a relationship where you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells? Do you feel like your partner is always trying to control you? If so, then your partner may be playing mind games with you.
Mind games can be incredibly damaging to a relationship, and it is vital to know how to identify them. This blog post will discuss the seven most common signs that your partner is playing mind games with you.
“Blame and shame are simply mind games.” — Dr. Asa Don Brown
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1. Contradictory Behavior
All of us have experienced it; that moment when someone we know does something that is so out of character for them that it leaves us dumbfounded. We scratch our heads and wonder what could possibly have led them to do such a thing, mainly if it goes against everything they have previously said or done.
While it might be tempting to write them off as a hypocrite, it’s important to remember that people are complex creatures, and a variety of factors often shape their actions.
In many cases, contradictory behavior results from someone grappling with competing impulses or ideas. Rather than being a sign of weakness or duplicity, it can actually be a sign of strength and courage.
After all, it takes a lot of inner strength to admit that you might be wrong about something or that your beliefs might need to change. The next time you encounter someone behaving in a contradictory manner, try to see it as an opportunity for growth and understanding rather than an opportunity for judging.
2. Intentional Jealousy
Many people have experienced the mind game of intentional jealousy. This is when your partner tries to make you jealous on purpose in order to gain some sort of advantage in the relationship.
It can be a very frustrating and upsetting experience, especially if you don’t know how to handle it. You can do a few things if you find yourself in this situation.
First, try to stay calm and rational. It’s important not to let your emotions get the best of you. Second, confront your partner about what they’re doing. It’s essential to be assertive and let them know that you won’t tolerate this behavior.
Finally, try to take the high road and focus on the positive aspects of your relationship. Remember that no one is perfect, and even the best relationships have their challenges. If you can learn to handle this mind game in a constructive way, it can actually make your relationship more potent in the long run.
3. Hot & Cold Treatment
When it comes to dating, there’s the hot and cold mind game that everyone seems to be playing. You meet someone, you hit it off, and things seem to be going well… and then all of a sudden, they seem to cool off, leaving you wondering what happened. Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone. This mind game is standard in the early stages of dating. So what gives? Why do people do this?
There are actually a few possible reasons. One is that they’re simply not that interested and are trying to let you down easily by gradually cooling off. Another possibility is that they are interested but afraid of getting too attached too quickly, so they back off a bit to take things slow.
Or, it could be that they’re just playing games and trying to keep you on your toes. Whatever the reason, the best thing you can do is stay present and focused on your feelings.
Don’t try to read too much into their actions or overthink things. Just relax, go with the flow, and see where things lead. If they’re meant to be, things will progress naturally. If not, then it wasn’t meant to be anyway. So enjoy the ride, and don’t take things too seriously!
4. Love Bombing
In the early stages of dating, it’s not uncommon for people to sell each other in a relationship. We do this by sharing our hopes and dreams for the future, painting a rosy picture of what life could be like together. This is often referred to as “love bombing.”
Unfortunately, love bombing is usually just a mind game. It’s a way to control and manipulate the other person by making them feel like they need to live up to your unrealistic expectations. Eventually, the balloons will pop, and the relationship will fizzle out.
So if you’re looking for something real, it’s best only to sell dreams partially. Be honest about who you are and what you want from the relationship. That way, you can attract someone who wants the same things as you do.
5. Truth Twisting
Truth twisters are those who turn the truth around to make themselves look good. They’re not liars, exactly — they have a way of presenting the facts in a way that makes them look good while omitting any information that might reflect poorly on them.
For example, they might take credit for someone else’s work or claim to have done something they didn’t. They might also downplay their own role in an adverse event or exaggerate their contribution to a positive one.
In short, truth twisters are masters of self-promotion. And while there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that, it’s essential to be aware of their tendencies so that you don’t get taken in by their spin.
6. Gaslighting
If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a Gaslighter, you know how difficult it can be to break free. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which the abuser deliberately tries to undermine the victim’s sense of reality.
They may lie about events, question their victim’s memories, or deny that certain things ever happened. Over time, the victim starts to doubt their own perception of reality and can become severely self-doubtful and even suicidal. If you suspect you’re being gaslighted, you must reach out for help.
Gaslighting is a severe form of emotional abuse that can have long-lasting effects. If you think you might be a victim of gaslighting, reach out for help from a trusted friend or professional. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you work to regain a sense of control over your life.
7. Guilt Tripping
Guilt tripping is a process by which someone tries to make another person feel guilty about something. Guilt is an emotional state that can be caused by natural or perceived wrongdoings. Guilt tripping is often used as a way to manipulate others into doing something that the guilt tripper wants them to do.
For example, a parent might guilt trip their child into doing their homework by saying that they will be disappointed if they don’t get good grades. Guilt-tripping can also be used as a form of emotional blackmail. Furthermore, a partner might threaten to leave if their partner doesn’t do what they want them to do.
Guilt-tripping is generally considered to be an unhealthy way of trying to control others. It can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and powerlessness. If you are on the receiving end of guilt-tripping, it is essential to remember that you have the right to say no. Communicating your feelings is a critical step for effectively managing this type of manipulation tactic.
8. The Victim Mentality
All too often in relationships, one person begins to adopt a victim mentality. This mind game involves making themselves out to be the helpless victim in every situation and their partner the oppressor.
The victim will play up their own suffering and paint their partner as the villain, even when this is not the case. This can be highly frustrating for their partner, who may feel like they are constantly being blamed.
However, it is important to remember that the victim is usually acting out of a need for attention and control. By understanding this, you can start seeing through the victim’s manipulative tactics and regain control of your relationship.
9. Playing Hard-To-Get
The games people play in relationships are often a reflection of their own insecurities and fears. One of the most common games is playing hard-to-get.
This game is usually played by someone who is afraid of intimacy or rejection. They will send mixed signals or emotionally withdraw in order to keep their partner at arm’s length.
The problem with this game is that it can easily backfire. If their partner feels rejected or unimportant, they may simply give up and move on. Playing hard-to-get may temporarily prevent intimacy but ultimately damage the relationship.
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The Bottom Line
The games that people play in relationships can be damaging and hurtful. If you recognize any of the mind games discussed above, it is crucial to take steps to address them.
The best way to do this is by being honest with yourself and your partner about how you feel so that you can work together to find a solution. Remember, communication is key.
“Guilt Trip: A special kind of manipulation tactic. A manipulator suggests to the conscientious victim that he or she does not care enough, is too selfish or has it easy. This usually results in victim feeling bad, keeping them in self-doubt, anxious and submissive position.” — Dr George Simon
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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