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My Dearest Adam,
Upon the wonderful and momentous occasion of you moving into your dorm in preparation of your freshman year of college, I write you this letter containing some of the lessons that I have learned—some easier than others—about what it takes to be a good man in this life. I share them with you now in the hopes of making your sojourn into manhood a bit easier than mine.
Take them for what they are worth. I write them in full realization that you already know some of the truths contained within them, in which case please take these words and thoughts as reminders.
In no particular order, as you traverse through your daily life, my son, understand that:
What you have is what we all have as human beings: your breath, your attitude, and your passion. These are three things the world and people will, from time to time, attempt to take away from you. Don’t ever let them succeed in doing so.
Despite what you may hear, read, or see—women always have and always will deserve your love and respect as fellow and equal human beings.
In a sexual context, “No” will always mean “No”.
Everyone’s life journey is different and because of the subjective nature of our lives, our experiences of the same events will often be different. The sooner you realize this, the better.
Humility is one of the best traits that you can ever possess.
Our perceptions and view of reality will often be limited and incomplete, and at other times just be flat out wrong.
The habit of judging actions instead of people is one of the best habits you can ever develop.
Talk minus action will always equal zero.
Now more than ever before, we are all inextricably linked to each other as common inhabitants of this planet.
Crying is not a sign of weakness, but evidence of your ability to feel emotions, which is an ability you should always cultivate.
Doing the right thing will sometimes be inconvenient and upsetting to some people. Do it anyway.
You should always defend your joy and your dreams.
Whatever you do or don’t do today will almost always necessarily affect what you can and can’t do tomorrow.
Mistakes are as inevitable as the sunrise and sunset and you need to try your best to learn from them because wisdom isn’t automatic, it must be gleaned.
Life is hard for and on everyone including yourself, so when it warrants, give yourself a break.
Miserable people will try to convince you that you should be miserable too. Resist them at all costs.
One of the most useless and self-destructive things you can ever do is to compare yourself to someone else.
Sometimes it is a good thing to give the world “the finger”.
The time is always ripe to kill your fears.
There will always be things that happen to you that you can’t control, but you can always control your reaction to them.
You need to be consciously aware that you are present in your own life.
What you value tends to define your existence for better or for worse.
The power of music in your life can’t be underestimated because it has the innate ability to change your whole day and outlook.
It is natural to have self-doubt.
No one achieves anything without the help of others.
Good people do exist in this world, though they sometimes may be hard to find.
There is a natural loudness that comes when you speak in your own voice.
You should never be afraid to sing or dance.
Life is too short to suffer bad writing, bad movies, bad food, and negative people.
The art of practicing kindness to all people should be a daily goal.
What a human being believes or doesn’t believe will explain a lot of his or her actions.
Human existence will always be a fragile thing that needs to be treated as such.
We are more alike than we ever realize or admit.
While life itself can be seen as miraculous, what should sometimes strike you as being just as miraculous is that after all the destructive things that we have done as a species, we are still here.
One of art’s main functions to remind us of the magnificent nature of everything around us.
You should never judge the relative worth or meaning of your life against your possessions and/or material wealth or lack thereof.
The inspiration and opportunity to do good is everywhere.
Positive personal change only comes after taking personal responsibility for what you have done or not done.
When you live in a world that seems to hate or despise you, loving yourself is a revolutionary act. In those times, keep your own personal revolution alive.
You should celebrate beauty, for its own sake, whenever you can.
Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do it.
You will find that often times if you are one who dares to have a belief in an original idea or yourself, the world will ridicule you or call you a crazy dreamer. If this happens, believe in it and yourself anyway.
There is inestimable power in saying ‘Yes” to some things and “No” to others.
Love is a real and tangible thing, despite what some naysayers may say to the contrary.
No one that was born before you, after you, or who is yet to be born will ever be exactly like you. Never forget that you possess a specialness, a uniqueness that has never been seen before and will never be seen again. Never let the feeling of the need to belong, conform, or fit in cause you to lose your sense of individuality.
With An Undying Love,
Dad
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