…and Your Need for Connection
There’s an old saying that goes like this: “Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are.”
It’s going to annoy you, but I will repeat this saying throughout your lives. Who you surround yourselves with at school, on the playground, and later at work and in other social settings will have a tremendous impact on you. What you learn in our home informs only a small portion of the person you ultimately become, whereas the relationships you develop outside these protective walls will affect you in ways that will surpass the teachings of we, your parents.
A word about these relationships: some friends you’ll have forever. Others, for a few years or months. Some you’ll only know on a playground for mere moments. This is human interaction. We engage with people when there is a click—when we find a spark of connection with them. We then cultivate that spark to keep our need for connection alive. Not every spark is a good one. You might share that spark with someone, only to find that they are not the right fit for you. Their spark will be counter to yours, and the relationship will eventually end. Either they will try to overpower you, or you them. What makes all relationships work—what makes the good sparks last—is when there is balance. Harmony amongst two separate energies.
Learning the skills to grow healthy friendships, find stable love, and establish solid partnerships will take an entire lifetime. As you learn about good and bad and right and wrong, you will learn about those same qualities in people. You will develop positive and negative personality traits, all of which will compliment or counteract with traits of other people. That’s all normal and part of the mystery of human interaction.
Along your journey with other people, whether they be your friends, lovers, enemies, or nemeses, just remember one thing: to thine own self be true. Remember that inside of you is one singular and unique person. You were born with a temperament and that is the one part of you that stays the same. Despite all the influence others will have on you throughout your life, you will always go back to who you are. Remember to take care of that first, and you will be strong in your judgement of whom you want in your life, or not.
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Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash
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