Are You Sick and Tired of Dating Apps? Here Are 5 Underrated Offline Spots To Meet Singles

I’m not the biggest fan of dating apps, even though I have used them on and off with moderate success.

If there is one thing I have learned over the years of online dating is that nothing comes easy. To consistently get matches that lead to meaningful dates, you have to either be exceptionally good-looking or have a stellar profile that stands out above the rest.

For every positive experience I had with dating apps, there were a plethora of soul-crushing encounters that left me feeling jaded. You have ghosters, zero effort people, conversations that go nowhere, time-wasters, window shoppers. I could go on and on. The list of bad dating practices seems near-infinite. It was so bad that I could never stay too long on any dating app before needing to take a break to recuperate emotionally.

It’s no secret that many people loathe online dating. There’s something about being on dating apps that seems to bring out the worst in people. According to a study from the Pew Research Center, 36% of online daters found their experience either extremely or very upsetting. Another separate study from the same institute discovered that 57% of women aged 18 to 34 received explicit imagery and messages without consent. These negative behaviors have become so normalized that it’s now expected as part of the online dating experience.

Even with all the negativity surrounding dating apps, the online dating industry doesn’t seem to show any signs of slowing down. Each passing year, more and more people are turning to dating apps as a primary method of meeting a love interest.

One reason people continue to use dating apps, even though they dislike them, stems from the belief that there are few offline avenues available to meet single people. Our lives have become so connected it’s easy to forget there is a real-world beyond social media. People still do meet and make organic connections offline the same way they did before the internet became what it is today.

Personally, I believe in the mantra of not putting all your eggs in one basket. It’s never wise to rely solely on dating apps to fulfill all your dating needs. All it would take is for changes to the algorithm or a ban. Just like that, you instantly become a non-participant in the dating pool.

It’s, for this reason, I’m still a firm believer in meeting someone organically offline, even though I have been fortunate enough to meet great people from dating apps.

There is a level of authenticity that comes with meeting people in the real world you can’t achieve through online apps. People in the real world are less likely to misrepresent themselves, something all too common with online daters. Getting catfished is pretty much impossible when you meet offline. You are better able to get a sense of their personality. Who they are is immediately apparent, and it’s a lot easier to tell if there is a connection or not.

I have had some experiences where I felt a connection with someone online, only to realize the feeling did not carry over in the real world. Had I met some of these people offline from the start, I would have known this without having wasted time chatting online.

With that said, here is a list of places you can go to that are perfect for meeting a potential love interest, some of which have worked well for me in the past. You now don’t have to worry anymore about leaving the fate of your love life to awful dating apps.

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Join a dance class

If I had to pick one place to meet a potential love interest, dance classes would be it. Especially if you are looking to date women. Out of all the dance studios I visited, not one had more men than women. Of course, results may vary depending on location and types of dance styles on offer.

In general, women love dancing far more than men. Most studies I have come across, including one by the International Journal of Education & the Arts, show that more women attend dance classes compared to men. Perhaps this is because of the belief that dancing is considered a feminine art form. However, these gender normative beliefs are slowly changing.

Having more women is not the only reason dance classes are ideal places for match-making. Dancing is one of the few activities where it’s socially acceptable to get in close and personal with someone. When you move sensually in unison to the beat of the music, you are, in essence, flirting without words. No better activity bridges the gap between mind and body.

If you happen not to meet someone when you attend dance classes, you can at least leave with the knowledge you have learned a new activity that will have benefits that go beyond dating and relationships. Such as making you feel more confident, improving your coordination and fitness levels.

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Volunteer or attend a charity event

Volunteering for a charity is a great but often overlooked way of meeting new people. Not only is giving up your time for a noble cause selfless and kind, but it can also be a lot of fun. According to research, altruism is linked to higher self-esteem, life satisfaction, and feelings of accomplishment.

I unexpectedly met one of my exes through this very method. It was through a charity event for underprivileged children. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship and wanted to expand my social circle. But I also wanted to try something I hadn’t done before. My sister suggested I try volunteering, so I gave it a shot.

Besides meeting a wonderful person who I later dated. The whole experience was transformative. It helped me gain a new perspective on life I had not previously been conscious of. Volunteering forced me to look inward and appreciate the small things in life I had been taking for granted.

I would highly encourage anyone to volunteer, not only as a means to meet people, but to help those less privileged than us.

Even though it might not feel like it, you would be making their lives just a little better.

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Bookstores and libraries

Not everyone enjoys loud music and large crowds. Bookstores and libraries offer a perfect alternative to bars and clubs. Since most people go to these places alone, crowds are a rarity. This quiet and low-key environment is highly conducive to conversation. And you never have to worry about thinking of an icebreaker, since the reading material all around you makes for perfect conversation starters.

Unlike bars and clubs, you are not in a high-pressure, competitive environment. You can slow things down and let the interactions move at your own pace, without feeling like all the attention is on you.

Many bookstores and libraries often have a cafe attached, so if you hit things off, you can easily transition to an impromptu cafe date on the spot. This is perfect for introverts or shy people who enjoy getting lost in books. And you are at the very least assured to be attracting people who are also smart and concerned about expanding their knowledge.

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Meetup events

Making new friends as an adult is hard. Finding romance is not any easier. There are just fewer opportunities to socialize compared to college or high school. Meeting and connecting with like-minded people through clubs and social gatherings as a student was so effortless that it was easy to take it all for granted. But fret not. There is another way to socialize based on interests.

Meetup.com is an online social platform that is used to host online or local in-person events based on interests. These events can be anything you can imagine. I have in the past attended board games, poetry, hiking, and debate meetups. There is just so much to choose from. It’s guaranteed you will find something that tickles your fancy.

Think of meetup.com like one giant activities bulletin board, similar to what you would find in college. The difference is that it’s free to join and, you don’t have to be an enrolled student.

The best thing is when you join a meetup group, you are assured you are meeting people that share the same interests. These will make conversations easier since you will have something in common to talk about.

In my experience, I have noticed physical activity-based meetups with mixed groups greater than 10, ideally above 20, offer the best chance of finding people who are single and available if dating is your primary motivator. Though, finding big groups or even varied activities in small cities is more difficult. It seems meetup events work best in high-density metropolitan areas.

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Self-service laundromats

When you think about doing laundry, I’m certain socializing is not what immediately comes to mind. Laundry is on the same level as washing dishes or mopping the floor. They are all menial tasks; we do them because we have to, not because we find them pleasurable activities.

Sure, doing laundry is boring, especially if you are doing it at home by yourself. But if you have access to one of those coin-operated laundromats, I would encourage you to choose them over traditional laundrettes. These types of places are an untapped goldmine of potential friend/date-making possibilities.

Think about it. It takes anywhere from 15 mins to an hour depending on the load to clean and dry dirty laundry. That’s ample time to start a conversation and connect with people if they are open to the idea of meeting someone new. Trust me; people are so bored waiting for their clothes to dry, friendly conversation from an interesting person would be a welcome treat.

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Parting words

Although the five places mentioned here make for great places to meet someone new, these locations are only suggestions to help you see the possibilities. In reality, there is no such thing as a perfect spot for meeting someone new. Everywhere has the potential to be a great place. (It all depends on you.)

It’s worth remembering, people meet in the oddest of ways. It’s all about keeping your eyes and mind open to the possibilities all around you and not closing yourself to the outside world.

I have a good friend who met her now-husband through a wrong number call he made. Even though she was a stranger to him, he managed to strike up a short conversation that lead to a date, and the rest is history.

Now I’m not implying you should start randomly dialing numbers and attempting to set up a date with a total stranger. I’m just trying to illustrate that sometimes all it takes is a simple hello and a brief introduction to get the ball rolling. And this can be accomplished from anywhere.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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