Aaron W. Voyles looks at bearding tips and bonding for college men.
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We are in full training mode here at school, which means that students are starting to come back. When students come back, the excitement on campus magnifies and life is breathed into everything. It is also a great opportunity to engage with our students and become a mentor to students looking for a connection.
Mentorship is a funny thing, because the opportunities come out of nowhere. With few exceptions, I don’t often go out trying to mentor a specific person. Mentees choose us. For instance, I recently became a beard mentor to one of our student leaders.
Here’s what happened: while eating lunch, a student asked me, “Can I ask you a personal question?” I said sure and then, pow, I’m a mentor. The question was, “What do you do to keep your beard trimmed?” That was all it took to begin a mentorship process.
The questions continued about when the itching would stop, how to decide what style to put in, and so on. I responded by detailing the first few times I had tried to grow a beard and how I care for mine. I also mentioned my pet peeves about contemporary beards.
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For those who might not have a beard mentor, my tidbits of advice are, first and foremost, that you need to let it grow for at least a month, probably six weeks, before doing the shaving and trimming. That amount of time lets you see what you’re working with.
Depending on your beard density, you can decide if you want to keep it a little longer or a little shorter. I prefer to keep my beard a little longer trimmed, not only because I have to trim it less often but because otherwise it looks like I’m still trying to start growing my beard.
Additionally, I highly recommend that all men eschew the current trend of shaving the neck line right on the jaw. I find this makes the beard look awkward because it’s too short, and it doesn’t have the commanding presence of an actual neckline.
Most important, however, is to embrace the facial hair that you have and the beard you’re capable of growing. I cannot grow a massive, epic beard. It will never happen. But I’ve learned to love the beard that I have and I find it suits my personality well. Others may have more advice on how to get a competition-worthy beard, but that’s just not my bag.
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The important part of becoming a beard mentor is actually not that I’m mentoring about beards at all. I’ve been many other random kinds of mentors, including music mentors, mentors about which buttons on a suit coat you should button, workout mentors, and so forth. The important part is to remember how important connections through shared experiences can be for men.
For a man, a mentorship about beards or suits can be a place that allows for them to connect and reach out for help when they need it. It can create a comfortable environment where they can express themselves. Because my mentorships have been in traditionally masculine topics (I often say that growing a beard is the most passively masculine thing you can do), it opens the door for vulnerability that allows men to understand themselves better and their roles in society. I suppose I’m a beard mentor now. Works for me.
Ditching the Dunce Cap is a weekly Friday column from Aaron W. Voyles on the University of Texas-Austin. He welcomes your comments. This column is not affiliated with the university.
—Photo giammi/Flickr
Also in Ditching the Dunce Cap:
College Made Me Think I Hated Beer
An Ode to My College Roommate
Vomit. Sorry.
Examining the Axe Effect
When Will You Grab Your Saw?
Do You Know the Mega-Dump?
If the Shoe Fits, Cheat
that said nothing about a beard. I didn’t want to read about mentorship