Can You Stop Yourself From Drunk Texting?

Who isn’t guilty of the occasional drunk text? It happens. It feels so right at the moment. Doesn’t it? Not so much the morning after.

My friends and I are hanging out at the pool.

“How’s your new guy?” I asked my friend.

She’s pretty funny on a good day. I love laughing with her. I gave her a nickname the first day that I met her. It matches a certain actress because she’s got a joy and a light about her.

I call her ‘Goldie.’

Because she looks like and acts like a young Goldie Hawn.

“Oh,” she says. “I might’ve texted him late night again.”

“Oh,” I say.

“But don’t worry,” she says with her signature humor. “I’ve been problem solving about how NOT to drunk text him again.”

A little bit of backstory.

He’s a guy she’s been seeing. But it’s in the infancy of the relationship. You know what I’m saying. It’s the period of time where we are supposed to be well behaved. You know what they say…best foot forward and all of that.

But c’mon.

The beginning of dating can be agonizing.

Does he/she like me? Or do they? Should I be the one to text them? Or should I wait for them to text me? Should I let them know how much I like them? Or is that a disastrous idea?

You get the point.

It’s a conflicting and confusing time.

“How did you solve your drunk texting problem?” I say.

“Well,” she says. “At first I entered him on my phone under “Don’t.”

“Okay,” I say. “How’s that working for you?”

“Not so good,” she says. “So I re-entered him in my contacts as ‘Don’t DO it.”

“Wow,” I say. “You’re a genius.”

We laugh.

She grabs her phone.

“You wanna see what he’s under now?” she says.

“Absolutely.”

I glance at her phone.

“I put him in as ‘NO’,” she says.

“Again,” I say. “How’s that working for you?”

“Not so good.”

At this point, we are rolling and laughing. We can barely stop. What makes this funnier? This is my friend who told us girls about an app. It’s called DrunkMode.

It prevents you from drunk texting/calling your girl/guy.

None of us downloaded it. But we did take note that there is a way to keep our fingers to ourselves. Thank goodness! There’s someone out in the world protecting us from ourselves and Don Julio.

And our romantically idiotic stupidity.

Good to know.

“I can’t judge,” I say. “I might’ve thought about texting a guy these past few weeks.”

Not drunk texting him.

I’ve graduated to the sober text. At least for the time being. I’m not sure what that says. I think it says I’m actually over you enough to not late night text you.