Dating Isn’t for Broke People and Millennials Are Feeling the Heat More

The rising cost of living is driving everyone crazy including children.

I saw this trending video on TikTok with 20 million views. The 6-year-old was so mad that the cost of 2 ice creams had risen to £9 from £2 she used to buy it.

The video was so funny, yet, the realization hit me. If climate change doesn’t kill us, inflation will because we are going broke due to the rising cost of living around the globe.

And guess what?

Inflation is particularly messier if you are searching for love and dating. One study found that Millennials and Gen Zers are dating less because dating costs have skyrocketed.

The same study says 22% of Millennials and 19% of Gen Zers have gone into debt from what they spent on dates. While 13% have had their cards declined on a first date.

Yep! It’s all true.

I was with a friend the other day and she complained bitterly about how she spent $110 on a dating trip out of town to meet a guy she met on Hinge.

She had budgeted $50 for travelling to see the guy by train paying for her meal and returning home the same day.

Unfortunately, the guy was a douche. He took her to a downtown bar and they drank 4 cups of beer each, which she paid for. She thinks the guy is a heavy drinker so she was buying drinks quicker to keep up with his pace.

Then she missed her train because he wouldn’t let her go and insisted they make one more stop at another bar before she left.

The date lasted for 2 hours and she spent $110, had to call a friend to pick her up at the train station because she didn’t have extra money to pay for a taxi fare back to her house.

My friend said the guy hasn’t called her since then and she isn’t interested in him anyone because the vibe wasn’t there. She’s angry she wasted her time and money on a guy she doesn’t want to see again.

Nowadays, if you are spending an average of $90 on a date consider yourself rich.

One Instagram post went viral about an influencer advising broke people not to date.

The post got a lot of backlash and support, mostly from men. Women agreed that broke guys shouldn’t date if they can’t afford to buy them dinner. One of the guys supported the poster saying “Dating, having kids and a luxurious life isn’t for anyone below the poverty line.”

He went further to state that instead of spending money on dates, you can save that money and work extra hours to make more money to be able to afford a date.

Those who criticized the post did so on the basis of finding love. They believed without dating one cannot find love and therefore saying poor people aren’t deserving of love was outrageous.

For second I grinned at the comments. If dating is equated to love then it is ridiculous to say poor people shouldn’t seek love.

However, the economy isn’t favorable for dating if you are poor. And by poor I mean if you are earning below $500 per year, and worst you have debts to pay off. You shouldn’t be thinking of spending a dime on dates.

Dating becomes an irrational decision because you have to spend to get to know someone. Even if it’s buying your date a box of chocolate, flowers or coffee, you are spending money you should be saving to clear your debt and monthly bills.

Although poor people tend to look for people with more financial stability than them, this could explain why some people got mad that they were being denied the chance to meet a partner who would pull them out of poverty.

But for those who are intimidated if their partner earns more than them, they date people at their level. So basically, the poor guy will be dating people as poor as he is or even poorer.

I don’t discourage anyone from dating but if you cannot afford to spend $20 dollars on a date then you are poor.

According to WHO poverty threshold is $1.90 per day. This means you need to be making around $40 every month in order to afford basic life necessities, which is hardly substantial if you’re living in a Western country.

And if you cannot afford a date — albeit expensive because you can spend a lot of money on unproductive dates before you find a match, how will you be able to afford a family?

Because let’s face it, dating is often a step into bigger commitments. Whether it’s marriage, business or children. The end goal leads to spending more money.

However, one can find love without spending money to impress the person. In fact, 87% of daters say they are cool with going on a cost-free dates.

So finding love doesn’t have to cost a penny. There are a few ways you can get to know someone without emptying your pocket.

You can voice and video chat then until you establish a mutual ground where you two are comfortable around not spending on the first meet.

If he/she is too attached to luxury or cringes over you not buying them things then they are not the right fit for you. This will help you cut your losses short and pick only the serious ones to take out.

Personally, I have found dating to be a huge waste of time. The men I have dated have massive egos, some lie to get me hooked so they can use me as a placeholder.

While some use me as their emotional dumpster, I have no patience in nurturing a grown man who can’t handle his emotions.

Being alone is so much better than being in a lonely relationship. It isn’t encouraging either when I see what some of my friends put up with just to be in a relationship.

One of my friends is dating a guy with a disgusting body odor that made me puke when they came to visit. Another one is dating a freeloader who only plays games all day while my friends work to pay their rent and cook for him.

And yet another thinks love is pain and that if your guy doesn’t hit you once in a while then he doesn’t love enough. This one is by far the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.

I don’t date at present because I have a lot on my plate and limited mental energy. I barely feel stable most of the time, let alone getting into a commitment with anyone.

That is not to say I do not entertain prospects. I do date when it’s necessary but I’m extremely picky about who I take to the table. Dating less has saved me more money than I have made on writing in the last three months.

But don’t let me discourage you. Dating is still worth it if you are looking to kill time and experience all those initial emotional thrills that come with new relationships.

Getting that adrenaline rush and butterflies in your stomach can be exciting and love does make you age 10x less when the attraction is mutual.

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Are you dating more or less with the inflation rise? How much do you spend on a date? Join the conversation and subscribe if you haven’t. See you on my next post.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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