Although everyone knows that domestic violence is an ongoing problem, most people aren’t aware of just how common it is. Chances are, you know more than one person who has been a victim of domestic violence.
Domestic violence can include physical violence, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, and/or stalking, and it takes a major toll on victims’ mental health. In all its forms, domestic violence can leave lasting scars on survivors. Here are ways you can help support people in your life who are survivors of domestic violence.
Domestic Violence Facts & Statistics
To support survivors of domestic violence, it’s important to understand the reality of the problem in the United States. Domestic violence in some form affects around a quarter of women in the United States and one in ten men at some point during their lives.
Putting this into perspective, around 20 people are physically abused by their partners every minute in the United States alone, which is about 10 million people per year. This does not include other types of abuse, or the damage children suffer when they witness abuse in their households.
Although women are more likely to be victims of domestic violence than men, it’s important to note that anyone can be abused by a partner or family member. It’s important to know how to recognize the signs of domestic abuse and to support survivors as they work through the trauma they have endured.
Be a Friend & Offer Emotional Support
People who have left an abusive situation often feel extremely fragile and alone. Unfortunately, their well-meaning friends are often afraid to say or do the wrong thing and end up spending less time with them.
Be proactive and remember that it’s more important to be a friend than to know what to say. Just make time for them and be prepared to listen and ask questions. Survivors need to know that there are people who care about them after everything they’ve been through!
According to Adel Mburia-Mwalili, a Teaching Assistant Professor in the Masters of Public Health program at the University of Nevada, Reno, this kind of emotional support is extremely valuable:
“Emotional support is when a person provides a supportive function to anyone encountering a threat to their self-esteem. The idea that one is valued and accepted, despite having difficulties in their life is reassuring to most people, especially those experiencing domestic violence.”
Assist with Practical Needs
Many people who leave abusive situations need help with practical challenges such as getting through the legal processes involved with pressing charges against their abuser, finding a new place to live, accessing public assistance, securing childcare and work, and getting access to transportation. If you can help with any of these practical needs, it will help lift the burden on a survivor immensely. Many domestic violence victims struggle to put their lives back together after leaving their unsafe situation, and any support you can offer helps to ease their stress and anxiety.
Help Them Connect with Mental Health Services
Survivors of domestic violence need the help of a mental health professional to help them work through their experiences and heal. Mellissa Withers, Ph.D., MHS, an Associate Clinical Professor of Preventive Medicine and Director of the Master of Public Health (MPH) Online Program at the University of Southern California, explains:
“Experiencing intimate partner violence can profoundly shape a woman’s sense of self and others. Commonly, the violence has included manipulation and psychological abuse. She has been told over and over that she is worthless, ugly, and unworthy of love, and that no one will want her. It takes time to build back self-confidence and self-worth. Survivors themselves may not be fully aware of how their responses to the traumatic events impact their current behaviors and reactions. So, it is really important for men to appreciate the long-term effects of these experiences and to have empathy and patience.”
One way to support survivors is to help them find and connect with mental health professionals and other mental health services. Helping with this daunting task is a great way to support someone who is likely overwhelmed with the process of moving on with their life.
Educate Yourself On the Signs of Domestic Violence
Another way you can support survivors is to build your own knowledge and awareness. Get familiar with the signs of domestic violence so that you can offer support. Some of those signs include:
- Changes in personality
- Withdrawn or depressed
- Concerned about making their partner angry
- Partner insulting them publicly
- Spending less time with friends and family
- Unexplained injuries
People who are in abusive situations aren’t always ready or able to leave. Although it might be hard not to step in right away, it’s important to be supportive on their terms. Listen and give them the opportunity to tell you as much as they want to. Eventually, you might suggest resources or offer to provide help like transportation if they choose to leave.
Understand That Every Survivor Needs Something Different
One of the best ways you can support someone who is a survivor of domestic violence is simply by listening. Everyone needs something different in terms of support, and you have to listen so you can find out what they need. Don’t make assumptions about what they need—listen and ask questions!
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This post is made possible by Andrew Deen.
Photo credit: iStock.com
