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Being a writer and therapist hybrid, I am able to bring spontaneous metaphors into my office while sitting with clients. Yesterday was such a day.
I was meeting with someone who was asking herself the age-old question: “Who am I?” Life was rapidly changing around her, beyond her control and some aspects were steadfastly the same. She wanted to alter her circumstances and perceptions about her past so that she could have a more positive future. Not uncommon for any human being with even a smidgen of curiosity about how things got to be the way they are.
We spoke about the components that go into creating what she thought of as a good life. We came to the understanding that we need to forgo certain ingredients that would make for weird flavors and might not feel compatible.
Taking it a step further, we agreed that life isn’t like an Easy Bake Oven where we mix the contents of the bags of powdered stuff with water, place it in a pan and run it through the plastic appliance with a light bulb to heat the inside. Although some semblance of a delicious cake might slide out on the other side with the toy, it ain’t always that easy in real life. We may require more heat, more time, and a bigger oven to create the most nourishing and sweet cake. The challenge is to patiently mix, blend and wait while our life cake bakes.
On a break between sessions, I gazed in the bathroom mirror and thought, “This is what 60 looks like and feels like.” Most people are surprised when I tell them I have just turned that calendar page in October. I ran through the ingredients that are part of this confection.
- Playful, joyful and bliss-filled
- Creative and collaborative
- Purple-haired peacemonger
- Physically fit and active (always room for improvement)
- Extroverted with an increasing need for solitude
- Affectionate in word and action
- A connector/networker who brings people together
- A wordsmith who doesn’t get writers’ block, but instead, writers’ runs
- A go-giver and not just a go-getter
- Compassionate but judgmental at times
- Athletic, drug- and alcohol-free
- A recovering workaholic and co-dependent
- Widowed adult orphan
- Sometimes too much of a human doing, not just a human being
- A left of center, tree hugging, crunchy granola hippie
As I move from aging to saging, I am willing to reflect on the ways I am no longer willing to be half-baked, nor overdone.
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Photo credit: Shutterstock