I’m traveling the world to interview 101 people on the topic of gender, masc/fem dynamics, and relationships. Some discussions will be featured on my podcast, Men, Women & Seexx. Others are interviews in the street.
This was the first person I asked to fill out my gender questionnaire form.
He has one eye, and it doesn’t function that well. I read the form to him in Spanish — as loudly as I could — so he could hear me over the passing cars and motorcycles.
Super-low-fidelity social science happening here, people.
At 72 years of age, gender is simple, binary, and a stupid topic to be asking people about on the street in Colombia. I read the list of characteristics and asked him to rate each one as very masculine, very feminine, or neutral. He didn’t respond “neutral” to even ONE question.
As he responded, I realized he’s deeply locked in a gender binary, and a titch misogynistic. It seemed he was picking “masculino” for topics he liked or respected (such as “being caring” or “intuition”).
Looking back on his questionnaire, his responses suggest a traumatic history with women. This man has been heartbroken more than once. Emotional intelligence is a “característica masculina,” but so too is crying.
My takeaway: this man sees emotional non-expression as evidence of emotional regulation which he sees as a masculine trait.
He pointed to his head for topics that indicated masculinity, and — for topics that seemed feminine to him — gestured into the ether with exasperation as though to express that women are crazy.
Which they are.
We’re all crazy.
You can check out the form I’m using here. It’s disastrously flawed, and NOT a tool for social science. But it’s a great conversation starter and creates beautiful, intense interactions as I research for a book.
Follow this project here on Medium or Instagram.
Or, reach out to me to be featured on my podcast and share your personal experience of gender.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Zac Durant on Unsplash
