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For far too many women, children, the LGBTQ community and some men, every day is #metoo. As men, we have not only the constant opportunity but also a duty to stand up, speak up and do something about this egregious and all too common violation. There is NO excuse.
As a male survivor myself, I recognize that despite my experiences I still carry privilege as a man that allows me to live my life without constant fear of more harassment or another attack. This is profoundly different than the daily reality for most women. This is a starting point for me. This is a call for us, as men, to do something to make a difference. I would never want another human being to go through the fear, shame, horror, pain or trauma that I know we are all capable of perpetuating against another, whether in word, action or intention. I read another man’s post that said, “never say or do anything to a woman or child that you would not want done to you in prison.” Although an excellent point for men to really contemplate, I think our duty goes further than that. We intuitively know the definition of respect in language, action and intention by what we would or would not want or accept from another. This always has to be the starting point. If something would make me uncomfortable, scared, angry, hurt, ashamed or disempowered in any way, then it will obviously make anyone else feel the same and is therefore unacceptable.
Whether we, as men, know what it is to suffer in this way or not, our response to the whispers, cries and shouts of so many women should NEVER ignore or deflect the crucial acknowledgement of male-perpetuated rape culture or undermine the crisis of sexual harassment and assault that an overwhelming amount of women face every day. This is an absolute outrage and should make each one of us angry and willing to step up and make a difference. This should always be a call to action on the part of ALL men of conscience. Our complacency is complicity. Our lack of courage to speak up and take committed action to end this profound violation IS validating rape culture and incredibly destructive to so many women as well as the next generation who are watching your every move and learning from you. If there is any one definition of masculinity that I can live with, it is not a show of strength, size or power but instead the courage to stand up in the face of injustice and the willingness to support the safety and security of anyone that is a target. All the power in the world means little if it threatens or harms another.
As a man, I commit to calling out any behavior that belittles, disempowers, threatens, insults, harms or attacks women, children, the LGBTQ community and other men. I commit to speaking up and taking definitive action whenever I witness degrading comments, sexual harassment or assault, to stand as an ally and to use my position as a straight, white male to make a difference in the lives of those who suffer or live in fear. I call on all men to do the same. In the name of your mothers, your partners, your daughters and sons, it is imperative and long overdue. There is NO excuse. We must immediately and consistently call out the secrecy, the complacency, our profoundly disrespectful and damaging actions as well as the silence and shame of our complicity and its subtle or overt perpetuation of rape culture in all its insidious forms. Men, only we can truly put a stop to this deplorable crisis. As Jackson Katz says, rape culture IS a men’s issue. The time is now, and it is up to you. There is NO excuse!
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RSVP for #StopSexism Weekly Calls
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