Evolution Is the Ultimate Self-Improvement Course (Gurus Won’t Admit it Though)

I consumed self-help material like crazy in my early 20s.

Books, courses, videos on Youtube, articles and whatnot. I tried them all because I didn’t know how to fix my issues. That didn’t work. It just got me more depressed. Eventually, I found that only a tiny bit of that material helped.

If you take me back, I’d tell myself, “You don’t need all that. Focus on the problem.” Nothing wrong with self-help. But you need to know how to use it, or you’ll go mad.

Evolution shows you the path

One of the biggest reasons I was stuck with my dating issue was I focused on the wrong problem.

I tried to heal my depression with self-help material. That’s my default in all areas- I try to fix stuff myself. But I couldn’t solve this alone.

Instead of banging my head against the wall with more content, I needed to stop and ask, “What’s the real issue here?”

Different questions lead to different solutions. The problem was depression. And a therapist was the answer.

I carried on my back the loss of my father, self-esteem issues, mood swings, “game” conditioning and more.

I woke up and realized my mind was filled with limiting beliefs, which I learned from dating books.

For a year and a half, I sat on the therapist’s chair, week after week. We worked through all kinds of problems, pains, and everything that bothered me.

I felt better with time. And my life got better as a result.

Evolution shows you the path. It offers you the next stop or milestone you need to hit.

You know what problems you have. Break them down into smaller ones and fix the core issue.

The 80/20 rule applies here. Find the root of the problem, and put all your attention into fixing it.

Don’t go crazy with ten different self-help books or courses. You don’t need to.

Stop, discard all beliefs, prenotions and biases, then ask yourself, “Is there anything I’m missing? What’s the core issue of all this?”

You’ll quickly find the correct answers.

Enough with selling us stuff we don’t need

You can always improve. It doesn’t mean you should keep doing “self-help forever”.

When I turned 26, I decided I was done with this. I’ve graduated.
I told myself it was time to stop being a student and become a master.
I didn’t need to learn anymore.

You see all this content online, and it feels great. You want more of it.
But no one tells you where to stop. If they do, you’ll stop buying what they sell.

Even if that specific mentor/program/company solved the issues you’re dealing with, most of them wouldn’t tell you you’re done.

They’ll upsell you another product or course. I haven’t met many coaches who told me, “You’re done. You don’t need me anymore.”

The best way to measure progress and realize if you solved a specific issue is to look at reality over time.

Does your life get better? Do you feel better? Do the symptoms of the problem you’re trying to solve are disappearing?

Reality never lies

I had to go through a period when I needed to tell myself, “Jonathan, you’re all good. You’re out of the danger zone. School is out. No more survival mode.”

And then I had more time and energy to take care of other issues, like broken sleep, bad career choices and diet.

Again, evolution showed me the next stop for growth.

All these desires of yours are essentially evolution seducing you to get better. Women, money, fit body, better health.

When one area in your life gets better, keep moving forward.

People take shortcuts, and then blame the world

I have a friend who took five different courses on entrepreneurship. But he never did anything with them.

Books and content are excellent distractions for people who don’t take action.

For them, it isn’t self-improvement; it’s self-gratification. It feels like progress. But it’s not.

The funny thing is, my friend, blames his family for not treating him properly.

I met other people who never did anything to make their life better.

Somehow, they always blame others. The world is fucked, and there’s nothing wrong with them.

Ignoring reality will hit you in the face like a boomerang. The less ego you have, the better you see the truth and the better decision you’ll make and perform.

You won’t be as conditioned.

Improvement doesn’t happen in a vacuum by reading books or taking courses. It’s a result of taking action.

some people would rather live a lie than admit the truth