Despite ridiculous stereotypes in the media, Dads are doing an amazing (and often thankless) job. Let’s make sure we show them how much they’re appreciated!
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Dads Get A Bad Rap
It’s unfortunate how the American dad is portrayed in our media. I keep seeing commercials of some moron dad doing something stupid with his kids followed by his wife’s shaming dismay of his ridiculous behavior. Despite these mocking and unfair stereotypical portrayals of the American dad, the dads I know don’t look or act anything like the ridiculous dads in the TV sitcom or T-Mobile commercial. The dads I know and the dads I work with in my practice are amazing, dedicated and deserve a million awards for the sometimes thankless job of being a great dad. To this end, I wanted to share with you four really great reasons why we should celebrate the dads in our lives this Father’s Day holiday with fervor and reckless abandon.
1. Dads are trying really hard.
The dads I know are trying really hard to be great dads. Really. Dads everywhere are becoming increasingly more involved and interested in learning what it means to become a great dad—a generational and cultural shift from prior generations. Can we get an Amen and be thankful for that!? Instead of joining the cultural bandwagon and perpetuating the unfair and ridiculous stereotypes of the foolish dad, let’s join this Father’s Day and acknowledge dads everywhere for their immense effort and yearning to be a great dad.
2. Dads have limited role models, yet still make the best of it.
In so many ways, today’s dads are pioneers and blazing new trails for what it means to be a great dad. Many young dads today come from families and generational patterns where Dads were at worst abusive, and at best distant and aloof. Today’s dads are taking matters into their own hands because they want to be great dads and are reading books, coming to therapy, joining support groups, all in an effort to make up for what was lost when they were young. This year, for Father’s Day, instead of criticizing your husband for not being sensitive enough, take into consideration that he may have had very little modeling when it comes to being a great dad. And with that frame of mind, we can foster empathy and compassion.
3. Dads are fighting a changing culture.
These are confusing times for dads (and moms). Our culture is undergoing a massive social experiment where basics tenets that were foundational building blocks for our society are being uprooted and re-examined. Stay at home dads, full-time careers for moms, some hybrid of the two; dads are doing their very best in learning how to navigate these choppy waters. Because what was once expected “givens” for generations past—are no longer simple ideas that are taken for granted. Dads everywhere are subconsciously trying to understand their position at home with working Moms. What it means to be a dad now is different in ways of roles, responsibilities, nurturance & care, domestic values, etc. Dads everywhere are trying to play a game in which nobody knows the rules, so let’s celebrate dads by honoring their resilience, tenacity, and flexibility in being a dad in uncertain social times.
4. Sometimes, you need the eclipse of the sun to appreciate the sunlight.
Media’s unfair portrayal of dads sends a message that dads are irrelevant. This is one of the gravest mistakes our modern culture can make; believing dad’s involvement and competencies are secondary or diminished compared to mom’s. The study of psychology promoted this fallacy in the early 1900s, but thankfully we’ve come a long way in attachment research, and we know how essential dads’ relationships are with their children. It’s a natural human tendency to take for granted the things we see as certainties, and so sometimes it’s important to reflect on what things would be like if we lost something. What would life feel like for you if you lost your dad? Let’s not forget or take for granted the impact of dads in all of our lives. Dads today are badass and deserve a worthy celebration this Sunday, so please raise a glass and show dads everywhere we value them, care about them, and need them!
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Originally published at Quentin Hafner. Reprinted with permission.
Photo: morissettes/Pixabay