As a woman, I can empathize with the burden of expectations based on your sex alone. Women have been fighting to break down these walls for a very long time. It even has a name: Feminism. Yet the role that young men are expected to be from a young age is rarely spoken about and to my knowledge doesn’t have a name.
My older brother was held to incredible standards. He was expected to be in sports, to like cars, to not cry and to obey above all else. All these things he did and more, if my dad said jump, he jumped.
Growing up in our family meant trying to make my father proud. My brother and I wanted and needed that praise, and we never felt like we achieved it. Our father is no longer with us. And, it’s truly unfortunate that my brother might never feel that my father was proud of him. Unfortunately, because my father was raised as he had raised my brother, both men were not comfortable expressing feelings. My father told me frequently how proud he was of my brother. But, he was never comfortable enough to tell his son.
I feel like karma has now given my brother an opportunity. Someone who was raised to be strong, and to man up is now a father to two beautiful little ladies. Raising little girls is going to teach him about expressing feelings and handling a slew of them at once. Because of the pressure that he faced, he will never expect those girls to conform to the stereotypical female roles. Unless they want to. He will let them chose their own paths and he will be there to support them all the way. So they are lucky to have him as a father.
I am thrilled that so many men from our generation are raising their children without the expectations that used to come with being male. But, men still have a long ways to go with this battle. It’s going to take many men like my brother who will choose to raise their children in a better way so that they are free to become who they want to be instead of whom they were raised to be.
Perhaps this new way to raise our boy’s should have a name. And, I for one, do not recommend calling it: Manism.
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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