Have You Heard About this New Gen-Z Dating Trend Called Hardballing?

There is a new generation-z trend called hardballing, and it’s taking the dating world by storm.

For the uninitiated, hardballing refers to when a single person is clear and upfront about their relationship expectations usually but not necessarily before even a date has taken place.

When I first heard about this from the New York Post, I couldn’t help but remember this common phrase:

Nothing is new under the sun. What has been will be again, and what has been done will be done again. — Ecclesiastes

I’m sitting here scratching my head. Wondering how on earth is this even a new thing?

I find it all so amusing and perplexing at the same time.

If people have to invent a trend of being honest and open with their intentions, it must mean this kind of behavior is not commonplace. Which makes me wonder, how have people been dating all this while?

Maybe it’s a generational thing, considering I’m well into my 30s now.

Most of the millennial women I have dated in the past usually matched my behavior. So whenever I was open about what I was looking for, they would equally be transparent in return. But perhaps that’s not how things are with the younger crowd.

I remember when I was in my early 20s, dating, and meeting new people was still foreign to me. Being honest about what I wanted was terrifying. I didn’t have the courage and confidence to express myself in such a direct way, so what would end up happening was a case of me skirting around the issue. I mistakenly assumed stating my intentions in a roundabout way would lessen the likelihood of rejection. Unsurprisingly, such behavior only yielded unfavorable results.

As I have matured, I have become a big proponent of being open and honest with your intentions as soon as possible. It’s by far the best method to eliminate time wasters and anyone else who isn’t on the same wavelength relationship-wise.

But I don’t agree with the idea that being honest when dating is something new and revolutionary.

The concept of being direct has been around for ages.

There is the term called direct game popularized by the pickup and seduction community from as far back as the early 2000 and possibly before that. Direct game emphasizes stating your sexual intentions soon after meeting a woman. There should be no ambiguity.

Professional dating coaches like Alan Roger Currie have been teaching men the art of being direct with women with his book Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re Really Thinking, released in 1999.

Even further back, you have psychologists like Dr. Brad Blanton, who authored the book Radical Honesty, released in 1994. He teaches both men and women how to build deep connections and heal from the past through complete honesty.

You also have self-help authors such as Susan M. Campbell, Ph.D. She has released several books emphasizing honesty in building and maintaining relationships.

As you can see, being honest or hardballing as it’s now being called is nothing new. People are sensationalizing what should be common sense. It’s, in essence, an attempt to reinvent the proverbial dating wheel.

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Parting Words

Every generation always takes something from the previous generation and puts a spin on it to make it feel more relevant to them. Hardballing could be the gen-z way of making modern dating more palatable. After all, they are the generation that has grown up in a time where online dating is fast becoming the primary source of meeting a romantic partner.

And we all know how soul-crushing online dating can be. Eventually, something has to give. People are tired. They want to find ways of eliminating the frustrations and confusion brought on by dating in the modern age. This trend just might be it.

Although it might sound like I’m speaking against this new trend, in reality, I’m stoked and excited about the future of dating. If this trend continues to grow and become mainstream, I see nothing but positive outcomes. Gone will be the days of wondering if that person is interested in having a relationship, hookup, or friendship.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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