He Said, “Most Women Would Be Single if Rich Enough to Care for Themselves.”

Today, I tapped on a meme video in my messages.

It led me to scroll down my old Facebook profile. I saw a gossip account post about Kim Kardashian losing interest in casual dating. The TV show reference gave me pause. So I hopped into the comments.

“You get really comfortable being single. And the thought of you sharing a bed or your TV shows with someone else becomes less and less appealing. Because you get set in your ways.” — Kim Kardashian.

Kim isn’t wrong.

Nor is this commentator.

Because in the middle was another point-of-view remark. “I totally understand now, as an adult, why my grandparents always slept in separate beds.”

Double standards…(Yes, there’s a guy version to his ‘if rich’ comment.)

The debate surrounding the guy’s statement reminded me of a famous saying. I’m paraphrasing here.”Men aim to earn more to attract women. Women aim to earn more to avoid men.”

Compromise isn’t only a relationship struggle.

Stressing the need for compromise in relationships is so overrated. Such adaptability begins while you’re single. Because even before you find someone to date, you start changing into your best (most likable) self.

It’s unintentional. That’s until you bend (and break) yourself so much in a previous union; you don’t want to adapt. Nor reveal only your agreeable self. Of course, you need companionship.

On the flip side, you’re enjoying a new set of firsts.

For many, it’s living alone.

Women are more likely to live with others. By age 50 and onwards, a curveball rolls in, especially for ladies in Western countries. Almost double the percentage of older women (40%) live alone in comparison to men (23%). Morgan Stanley’s 2019 report predicts that younger women will mirror those statistics. Suggesting about 50% of working women aged 25–44 will be single and childless by 2035.

Women pairing with a man is not by default.

Kim terms it as set in your ways.

It really just demonstrates the availability of choices.

Plus, how womanhood acceptance flipped. Depending on your nationality, you’re more likely to gain praise for avoiding marriage and kids. Or embracing self-service after divorce .

Governments knew what they were doing back then. It’s no coincidence marriage rates were higher in the 19th century. When women had no right to vote or own property.

More women can act on their desire to travel. Get a higher education, focus on their careers, and build extended social circles. They can take time to find themselves before discovering the right guy. There’s so much awareness. Knowledge about how the wrong partner affects the quality of one’s motherhood journey. Thanks to more birth control options. Fewer women also become tied to any form of male relationships.

Another critical change, money.

The wealth gap narrowed significantly (84%) in mid-2023. Around this time, governments’ scream highlighted the drop in national birth rates.

The narrative now is ‘single women embody empowerment.’ Vogue claims having a boyfriend is embarrassing. These scripts enhance the marketability of this lifestyle.

Of course, OF’s rise to notoriety played an immense role. Women witness how other single women feel empowered. Take up space and just be doing anything confidently. Even live lavish at the expense of someone’s son. You guessed it. Without the disadvantages of being a trophy, housewife, or baby mama.

There’s a growing demure side via the single woman aesthetic on social media. Where women hide their boyfriend, fearing the loss of 1000s of followers. Due to becoming cringe as another influencer (bleargh) who made a relationship their entire personality.

Then there’s societal framing.

If a man is single, society says it isn’t by choice.

It’s claimed women don’t choose him. Though attractive guys may say otherwise. Anyways. So it is a common belief, women are the only ones single by choice.

And men, in their feelings about this unfairness between genders, weaponize their anger. They don’t say, “You’re a single mother.” They frame it as, “Nobody wants a woman with kids.” As if misfortunes taint a woman’s worthiness for love.

In his comment, there’s some truth coded in bitterness. As if it doesn’t matter if Kim’s somehow endorsing singlehood. Because it’s unattainable for most who aren’t rich enough to be single in this economy.

Final Thoughts

At this pace, younger generations will definitely F around and find out if “most women would be single if they were rich enough to care for themselves.”

I know, as do most people, everyone isn’t meant for relationships or marriage. It’s still jarring on both sides. Watching some people go the non-traditional path. And observing how others cope with strangers’ personal romantic choices.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.