How I Said Goodbye to My ‘Forever Person’

I thought he was my ride or die. My forever person. The one I would marry and grow old with.

He was the first ever to support my dreams. He knew parts of my soul that no one else ever took the time to learn.

He showed me what love is supposed to feel like — or at least, what I thought it was supposed to feel like.

The thing about our forever person is that they’re the ones we aren’t supposed to say goodbye to.

But life has a funny way of working out. And sometimes, we have to say goodbye to the person who we believed would be our forever.

Letting go of them is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. And there’s no right or wrong way to get over that “what if.”

Here’s how I said goodbye to my forever person.

I Allowed Myself to Be Thankful For What We Had

I’m grateful I had the chance to know him. Some people go their entire lives without knowing what a love like that can feel like. And while there are parts of the relationship that I would skip out on, there were incredible parts, too.

Some of those days will remain my best memories. Just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean that I can’t be grateful for what we had.

I Didn’t Downplay His Significance In My Life

Just because the timing was wrong or the universe didn’t align in a way that would have meant we would end up together doesn’t mean what we had wasn’t real.

In some ways, he was “the one.” He was the one who made me realize what love could feel like. He was the one who taught me that my heart was capable of believing in forever. And that matters.

He changed me forever. And I wouldn’t take any of the back.

I Gave Myself Time to Let Go

I knew I wouldn’t be able to let him go instantly. I couldn’t give him up cold turkey.

I didn’t fall in love with him overnight. Our relationship evolved slowly. So, it only made sense that letting go would be a slow process, too.

We started out as friends, and then we became lovers. Eventually, I couldn’t picture a future without him in it.

Letting go took time. It began slowly. I stopped answering phone calls and text messages. I stopped playing the songs that reminded me of him.

There was no distinct goodbye. No amount of words or final farewell could ever heal my broken heart. I’ve decided to let go silently.

But there was one thing I really had to let go of, and that was the idea that we could ever get back together. Giving up on the idea of it ever working out was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to move on from. But it was the one thing I knew I needed to do if I ever wanted to find happiness with someone else.

I Fell In Love With Myself Again

During the years we spent together, I lost parts of myself.

Some of them were small things, like hobbies I didn’t have time for when we were together.

Other things were much bigger: aspects of my personality I’d forgotten about along the way.

Saying goodbye to my forever person meant finding myself again — and falling back in love with me. Because at the end of the day, it’s all about loving yourself first and foremost.

I Look Forward to a Future Love

Thanks to him, I feel hopeful that there’s someone out there who will make me feel alive in ways that I never knew existed before him. And that hope is what moved me forward.

Because he might not have been the one I’ll end up with, but honestly? That’s okay.

I believe that the universe has someone even better in store for me. If I could feel this much love for someone who it wasn’t meant to be with, I can only imagine how incredible it will feel once I do meet my forever person.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.