When I was a teenager and young adult, I went through a lengthy ‘weird’ phase. Almost everything seemed ‘weird’ to me. My parents were weird, our society was weird, my social life was weird (at times non-existent!), my thoughts were weird, and life in general felt totally weird.
Anytime I wanted to describe something I saw, felt, or experienced, one of the first words out of my mouth was usually ‘weird.’
Clearly, I did not understand, or feel at all comfortable in, the world and society around me — or within myself. I was an extremely ‘alienated youth’ (in the then-current vernacular); my overall existence seemed very weird to me.
But my overwhelming sense of the total ‘weirdness’ of life was usually mine alone; at that time my views were idiosyncratic, ‘over-emotional,’ and not too common. Even friends were often mystified by my perceptions.
Back then, in the 70s, many Americans still seemed perfectly fine with the direction of our society and our nation (it was the era of the ubiquitous ‘happy face’ symbols). For the most part, it all still felt outwardly ‘normal.’
But not for me. I despised and feared my pervasive sense of ‘weirdness,’ and my overwhelming feeling of not belonging. I desperately wanted to fit in and ‘succeed,’ but didn’t really know how to even begin.
I tried hard — I really did. I tried valiantly for well over a decade, but then finally realized: ‘Damn! Our society really IS weird, and there’s no way I’m ever going to fit in, or ‘make it,’ or realize the famed (or infamous) American Dream. It’s time to stop trying so hard, and pushing to change or ‘improve’ myself. Enough already!’
I was miserable — so I slowly started on a path of healing. I wanted to get comfortable with myself, my body, my own inner nature, and my personal preferences and choices. I did a lot of therapy, attended scores of seminars and healing workshops, and got more and more ‘grounded.’
I finally started feeling good about myself, and didn’t care anymore whether I fit in or was ‘successful’ — as long as I had my small group of friends, a functioning support system, and enough money to live (frugally) on. I was getting steadily stronger and more centered.
The last eight ‘very weird’ years in America
Then along came Donald Trump, MAGA, the pandemic, the insurrection, and the last eight years — and things in America quickly got truly, horribly weird … and kept getting even weirder and more horrendous.
And suddenly, I was thrust back into ‘weird-world’ again.
Over the past eight years, I’ve again been using the ‘weird’ word more and more. Once again, I’m experiencing the overwhelming ‘weirdness’ of our society and our current lives — and once again, I’m over-using the ‘weird’ word in my daily conversations.
My wife has even complained — several times — about how often I say things are ‘weird,’ or get upset over the ‘weirdness’ of our society and our current direction.
The thing is, when I was young the problem seemed to be mainly internal. It was largely about me and my insecurities. But these days it’s all … very different. Our outer reality really has changed, drastically — and not for the better. These days, our outer reality really IS extremely weird.
Another way to examine America’s weirdness
Yesterday morning I was thinking about this article, and contemplating all the ways our society is getting steadily weirder … when I found my thoughts drifting to the many ways the U.S. often does the exact opposite of what really ought to be done.
I started thinking about how absurdly ineffective, counter-productive, or even oppressive many of our laws and initiatives are … and how antisocial many of them are, as well (such as laws restricting voting rights and women’s and LGBTQ+ rights).
Then I had one of those potent ‘Ah-Ha’ moments. I realized: This is not a different or separate topic at all. It’s just a different way of looking at the overall weirdness of our society. It’s another way of explaining and detailing exactly what makes our society today so weird — and so destructive.
Here’s part two of my exploration of ‘weird-world.’
The U.S. does things totally ‘back-assward’
Speaking of weirdness: the U.S. seems to do many things exactly backward. Totally ‘back-assward,’ as a popular witticism puts it.
We love to say we’re a ‘democracy’ — and then we work to disenfranchise many Americans and make it harder for people to vote.
We say we’re ‘civilized’ — but we train our people to be self-centered, aggressive, and non-cooperative, and to adore their guns and have itchy trigger-fingers.
We pride ourselves on being an ‘advanced’ nation — but we lag behind almost all other advanced nations in human rights, health care, economic equity, and societal support systems.
We say we’re ‘the land of the free’ — but are constantly finding ways to limit, restrict, or oppress minorities, ‘liberals,’ women, LGBTQ+ folks, and generally anyone who isn’t a straight White Christian.
We say we’re a ‘free market’ economy — yet the playing field is tilted toward the uber-wealthy, mega-corporations get lots of perks and few restrictions/regulations, and the ‘little guys’ keep getting shafted and trampled.
Our blatant hypocrisy is mind-boggling
America runs the world’s most consistent and persistent national P.R. program. We trumpet what a great country this is, and keep announcing how wonderful life in America is — and then react with horror and rage when people all over the world take us at our word and keep coming here, trying desperately to join the ranks of ‘lucky Americans.’
We liken it to a mass ‘invasion’ — and freak out to the extent that we make it very hard to legally emigrate here and become full citizens, and we strictly limit immigration. So much for “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free ….”
We say we want a well-educated citizenry — and then we under-fund our schools, underpay our teachers, and generally disrespect well-educated people. Plus, we hardly ever teach basic civics anymore, so our ‘citizens’ are steeped in ignorance and are lapsing into being mere uncaring, greedy ‘consumers.’
We claim to be a moral, ethical ‘Christian’ people — but then we ignore Christ’s precepts and moral teachings, latch onto hateful racist ideologies, and work to oppress anyone who is ‘different.’ We’ll even support and excuse the atrocious behavior of a malignant, decidedly unChristian narcissist named Donald Trump — and even blare our enthusiastic support from the pulpits of our churches. Whaaaat!?
That’s not just ‘weird,’ that’s truly horrendous. In reality, ALL of this American backwardness is far beyond ‘weird;’ it’s all deeply horrifying and despicable.
Life in America IS terribly weird — and weirdly terrible
It turns out, I was right to think and feel that life in America is very ‘weird.’ I was alienated for a reason.
For a long time, I (mistakenly) thought that it was all just me. I lacked the confidence and strength to see and acknowledge the entire, ugly truth.
That truth is: life in America IS terribly weird — and also weirdly terrible. Life in America is usually a massive con game — a persuasive, madness-inducing ‘shell game’ filled with bait-and-switch deceptions and illusions.
There are so many ways we’re not living up to our founding goals and promises — yet we keep pretending this is the ‘land of opportunity’ and the glorious ‘land of the free.’
I, for one, am totally sick of all the lies, pretense, and socially-acceptable deceptions. I am sick to death of all the weirdness and total B.S. in this country.
At this point, I desperately want to live in a humane, enjoyable, and non-weird society — without giving up (on America) and fleeing elsewhere. I don’t want to have to give up and flee.
Somehow, things in the U. S. just have to change. We all need them to change — hopefully, sooner rather than later.
I am so, SO done with all this hateful, grotesque ‘weirdness.’
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Previously Published on Medium
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