By Dan Rockwell
Extroverts feel frustrated because others aren’t more outgoing. Introverts complain when they don’t get what they want – even though they haven’t asked for what they want.
Arrogant leaders are irritated with others because they feel superior to others.
Tolerance or confrontation:
Arrogant leaders confront people who don’t have their strengths and tolerate people who have their weaknesses.
Leaders who are great communicators get irritated with poor communicators. But if you suck at organizational skill, disorganization is creativity.
We tolerate our weaknesses when we see them in others and confront others through the lens of our strengths. In other words, others should be more like you. Strangely, the people you hire and get promoted bear a striking resemblance to you.
It’s arrogance that makes your strengths the standard for excellence.
People should bring THEIR best to challenges, not yours.
Stop hoping others will become like you. The thing that irritates you about others may be the very thing you need.
You are your most important contribution. Just like they are their most important contribution.
Reflect on your progress when setting expectations for others.
The first meetings you led were an ineffective waste of time. But with coaching and practice, your meetings became worthwhile.
Some weaknesses become strengths.
Your first presentations were scattered and boring. But with feedback and practice, you’ve become coherent and engaging.
When dealing with another’s weakness, assess their interest and commitment to improve.
It’s frustrating to expect improvement from people who don’t care about improving.
Do they aspire to improve in areas where you need them to improve?
- Where do you aspire to improve?
- What makes improvement important to you?
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how important to you is improving in this area? (If they say 8, subtract 2 because they’re trying to please you.)
How might leaders overcome tendencies to judge others through the lens of their strengths?
What worked when others helped you improve your weakness?
Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
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