FALSE PRESUMPTION
“Our estimate of pain is often greater than the pain itself.” Christopher Knight Lopez, International Best-Selling Author.
HEARTBREAK
Heartbreak is real. The sensations of pain manifest themselves suddenly. Cortisol levels flow through our bodies like a gush from a broken flood gate. It can overwhelm many. Few can say they don’t drown in emotions.
People often look at me and wonder, “How is he so calm?”
I have more than calm demeanor. I feel all the things you do. I feel betrayal when someone betrays. I feel insulted when someone falsely labels me. I can feel anger when someone grossly exaggerates a story to support a narrative.
The difference between my response and many reactions is simple. I will teach it to you.
FALSE IDENTITIES
Most make a simple small mistake. This small mistake carries profound large-scale impacts. Chances are you have made this one mistake your entire life. It has to do with phrasing. Let me write some examples for you.
“I am angry right now.”
Seems like something someone would say.
“I am depressed.”
I am certain you’ve heard this too.
“I’m upset.”
A thought most have when they suffer an offense.
YOU ARE NOT A FEELING
I say something different. Instead of saying I am an actual emotion I describe the emotion. An example looks like this, “I am feeling anger right now.” Another one could be, “I have feelings of depression.”
This seems simple. The impacts are not very simple. When you tell your mind you are something — you are telling yourself that is all you are. I think most would agree their entire being is not a single emotion.
You are not anger.
You might be a mother, confidant, great friend, excellent communicator…a host of things. Limiting yourself to an emotion is not only a disservice — it is a lie.
You are so much more than a feeling.
STOP ENSLAVING YOURSELF TO A FEELING
This is something few talk about. I think it prudent to identify the reality of what happens when one reacts emotionally. I respond. Thoughtfully. I refuse to do anything in an emotional state.
If you do something out of anger, it is not you who does anything. It is anger who commands you to act. If you do something out of hurt, it is not you who does anything. It is hurt who commands you to act.
Who you are and what you feel are two different people.
Stop merging them.
HOW LONG ANGER TAKES TO RUN ITS COURSE
It takes about 20 minutes for the fight or flight response to settle down. Allow the adrenaline to run its course.
If you are angry after this cycle it’s because you are choosing to continually feed anger. You must continuously make yourself angry to feel anger all day. You can do this by 1) replaying the past in your mind, 2) having imaginary conversations with your offender, 3) thinking about what might happen (what ifs).
Adrenaline runs a short 100mm sprint. Your life is a marathon. My advice is simple. Emotions are not your master. You are not its slave. Take back control of yourself. Make decisions for you. Stop allowing a temporary selfish master to dictate the rest of your life.
CLOSING VERSE
The New Testament. The Book of John. 1 John [4:8] “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” (NLT)
IN CLOSING
Sign up for free to listen free of charge to my chapter in “Many Paths To Profit” to read about how I look at things. My dynamic form of observing and reframing will help you to accomplish things like what we have discussed in today’s article. I have a free podcast called Hustle Kick as well which teaches you how to hustle for free.
You can pick up a copy of my international best-selling and award winning book, “I Made It Then I Didn’t” as well for a deeper insight on some of the psychology I use to take me through difficult circumstances.
This article is meant to provoke thought — not argument. It’s a way of opening up the mind to alternative ideologies based on what one reads — not what one hears. The belief is personal and of course I respect everyone’s personal beliefs. I condemn no one for choosing whatever path — as clearly I mean to choose my own.
To Your Knowledge Success!
Sources
1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”.
2) As Hyperlinked throughout the article.
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Not a form of investment advice. Please consult a professional registered to give you advice about your individual circumstance. This is not formal counseling or a form of psychology. Please consult a licensed therapist or psychiatrist for psychological concerns. Please do not email the author about advice on investing or strategies on making investments. This article is for educational purposes and entertainment purposes only.
About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller, Award Winner of the December 2024 prestigious International Impact Book Awards — a premier award program dedicated to celebrating and recognizing the exceptional work of authors around the globe and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. He is also a Co-Author with Kevin “The Shark” Harrington “Many Paths To Profit”. See more at www.christopherklopez.com.
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