—
Nicolas. 19. Birthplace: Colombia. Currently: Manhattan, New York. Not Religious, Raised Catholic. Fashion Illustration. Student (Advertising, Marketing, Communications).
What does the concept/word “feminism” mean to you? What does the concept of equality mean to you?
The concept of feminism to me originally as a young gay kid in suburban New Jersey meant something different than it does now. The gay community – I don’t know what happens to us, but we always need to rally behind a woman. We have these female gay icons and I don’t get why. So originally it didn’t mean much to me but I thought: “Oh I like this term”, because it just seemed to match what was going on with me. Towards the end of high school and recently, I learned that it has a much deeper meaning. I love the idea of it, I love that it is a word that seems to be geared towards women but really there’s a whole societal benefit from it. Like the “He for She” campaign – I don’t know how effective it was but I liked the idea behind it. That made me really passionate about the idea of feminism. I really like the bigger picture of it. There are a lot of people who misinterpret it and don’t like the idea of it but as long as I know what it stands for I’m going to keep on being a feminist.
What do you think is the most pressing struggle for women today? What is the most crucial aspect in your eyes?
I think the biggest struggle (and I always feel a little uncomfortable talking about it because I’m not a woman), is the idea of realizing or acknowledging that there are these differences. The biggest struggle for women now isn’t an actual struggle, it’s acknowledging that there is a treatment difference between men and women because it’s overlooked and a lot of people have difficulty facing the list of issues that women face because they think: “They can vote, they have jobs, some men stay at home” and people don’t acknowledge it. For example, my parents don’t understand rape culture in the U.S. They just don’t because they think that men and women have sex with the same ideas and the same intentions and many times that’s not the case. So acknowledging that there is an issue is what I strive to do for them because they just don’t get it. Rape culture is taking up a big chunk of media, as it should. Also, the wage gap I think about a lot because unfortunately people don’t know the numbers behind it (you always get these numbers thrown at you) and that sticks out to me because I feel like it’s not promoted in the way that it should be. It’s promoted in a way that if you think about it, it doesn’t make sense to a lot of people. For example, I worked at a retail store and everyone gets paid the same amount whether you’re a man or a woman. Some people are like: “Why are you saying that Hispanic women get paid $0.55 to what a white man gets?” etc. and I think that it’s supposed to be interpreted as something else but I don’t know if they’re explaining it correctly. I know the numbers by heart now and I think if the wage gap could be overcome, that would be such a great jump.
Is feminism a subject you think about? Have you ever read a book or seen a documentary about feminist issues?
Yeah I think about it a lot. Unfortunately I don’t like reading, I wish I did. I bought “Lolita” because it’s problematic and I bought “The Bell Jar” by Sylvia Plath but I only read snippets. I can’t get myself to read full books but I read a lot of articles online or things on Wikipedia and read the sources.
Why do you identify as a feminist and how/when did you learn about it? What were you taught about women growing up?
I’ve been closer to women than to men my whole life. Before I came to the U.S. I was with my Mom for five years because my Dad lived here and so I was raised by my Mom and both grandmothers. I’ve always had a strong attachment to them and to hear casual stories that at the time didn’t mean much, but thinking back on them you think: “Damn, that wasn’t good”. Stuff like my grandmother knowing that her husband was cheating but taking no action because her reputation was at stake while his wouldn’t be affected. I didn’t think anything of it at the time and nobody told me explicitly but I got the gist of things and when I started thinking back on it – 8th grade was when I came out and I started thinking too much. The beginning of high school was when I started thinking. I related it a lot to what I knew and I realized feminism is an important concept for me too. Maybe if people don’t know it, maybe if they have a negative connotation with feminism that’s fine, but I would want to change that in my lifetime because I don’t want someone else hearing their grandmother have to go through that. I was closest to my mother’s mother’s side of the family and my maternal grandmother has nine sisters and only two brothers (one of which is gay), so there was a lot of female energy. It’s a very small town in Columbia so they were known as the Gomez sisters and I was very much exposed to their issues. Most of them have children with men that left them so maybe subconsciously I always thought about that. There would always be jokes about that but I don’t think a lot of them are happy and they may make light of it, but I think about that a lot because when I visit Columbia that’s the family that I stay with – this family that has gone through issues like that.
Is feminism empowering for men? If so, how? How does feminism differ for you?
Yes. I firmly believe that feminism is empowering for men. There are a lot of issues in feminism concerning the breaking down of gender roles and I think that affects men a lot (if you’re gay, straight or whatever) – you don’t have to be a white-collar worker because that’s what your father and grandfather were. That would be the biggest thing I can think of: The less harsh application of gender roles. It would positively affect the LGBT community just because it would really lower those gender role expectations. That would be great.
Why do you think the word “feminist” is associated with a negative stigma? What do you think it connotes? How do you think it could change?
I think the negative stigma traces back to what I was saying about how there’s a big issue in acknowledging that there is a difference in treatment. People are just accustomed to the way things are and they think that’s OK, so when you tell them there’s this new concept, they have to adjust. They think that everything is balanced in their lives and when you tell them: “No, it’s not necessarily your fault, but she lives in a society that really doesn’t see her the same way as they see you”, they’re up in arms. I think it goes back to conformity. A lot of people are just content and they don’t want to change. For example; maybe Sally, the very happy housewife, wants to be a housewife and that’s great if she’s extremely content with that. But maybe her next-door neighbor who has the same lifestyle doesn’t, and I think a lot of women don’t understand that. I’ve seen it happen, that’s why I can attest to it – a lot of girls in my town didn’t really oppose the concept because they wanted a lifestyle like that and that’s OK but it aids men who oppose the idea of feminism. I think the stigma could change if it were portrayed that even though feminism has the word “femme” in it, it’s not just for women. People associate it too much with man-hating and feminism really has nothing to do with that. If people learn more about not just women benefiting from it, they can learn that this is not just a women’s movement.
What issues/reservations do you have with feminism today? What do you personally think needs change?
Not really. For example, even though I left Columbia I have a few friends there and some friends in Mexico and I’ve seen sparks of feminist movements but unfortunately, it comes to the point of lashing out so it’s way too extreme for what the society is now. There are these women in Mexico who have this little song ready and if a man catcalls them, they chase them around playing this little song about: “Don’t do that to me”. Here I don’t think it would be as big of an issue, but for them there it’s too extreme, like: “Wow, where did this come from?”. I understand why it’s happening, it’s just unfortunate that it comes to that, because the connotation stays the same.
—
This post was originally published on the author’s Tumblr and is republished here with permission.
Photo credit: Deryne Keretic