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Gerald. 25. Birthplace: Manhattan, New York. Currently: Brooklyn, New York. Not Religious. Art. Video Editor/Producer.
What does the concept/word “feminism” mean to you? What does the concept of equality mean to you?
To start, I think it’s the kind of term that shouldn’t be nailed all the way down because it needs to evolve as issues evolve around it. I would just say that it’s the acknowledgement that the circumstances that women face are not equal; to their detriment, because of men. I would also say then that it’s the willingness to change that. Feminism is the acknowledgement of that inequality and then also the drive to want to see it changed. I don’t want to say anything about the word like: “It’s about the wage gap” (because it is in a sense), but it’s always going to change.
What do you think is the most pressing struggle for women today? What is the most crucial aspect in your eyes?
I feel like saying rape-culture is so big, because it’s smaller than that. I wouldn’t say it’s the wage gap because I think that’s a huge issue, but if I have to pick one I would say rape culture. But really, it’s the fact that men don’t acknowledge women’s humanity – I feel like men don’t acknowledge the full humanity of women. Many men as a system; men with a capital-M, don’t acknowledge that capital-W women are just as human, so I feel like that’s why people think: “Oh, we can pay them less, or they’re just sexual objects or whatever”. Yeah, I guess I would say rape culture right now because it affects young women as well as older women.
Is feminism a subject you think about? Have you ever read a book or seen a documentary about feminist issues?
Yes it is something I think about. I’m trying to think if I’ve seen a documentary – I watch a bunch of mini documentaries but I’ve learned so much from Tumblr. Tumblr has given me such an education but I do want to read more reputable feminist authors. I have watched the Feminist Frequency, that channel on YouTube.
Why do you identify as a feminist and how/when did you learn about it? What were you taught about women growing up?
Wow that’s such a weird question, I feel like that’s such a given: why wouldn’t you? I know women and they’re the best people and that’s not even why. Even if I knew no women and they were all assholes, I would still be a feminist. I guess being a person of color too – when you see that injustice, you’re like: “Well then all injustice is super fucking dumb”, so why would I ever treat a woman weird if it all disappears once you realize that there’s bullshit? I grew up with my sister who was always my best friend and still is – I live with her, she’s two years younger. And then my mother is my best friend too, so the value of women in my life is crucial. I’ve almost never even considered it because it’s just part of my DNA. I mean, I definitely had a lot of unlearning to do – I wasn’t raised in a feminist household so around 2010 was when people on Tumblr really started speaking out about issues and I learned through that. I had a lot of unlearning to do because I went to an all-boys school but I was never antagonistic towards any woman ever. You do learn things like: “Oh, women get harassed on the street every day? I didn’t even know that” – I learned about stuff like that a few years ago I guess. I think my mother and my sister just took it for granted that I wasn’t an asshole so they never taught me anything at home – they never had to. My dad wasn’t one of those guys either, so that kind of language never came up.
Is feminism empowering for men? If so, how? How does feminism differ for you?
I think it is. Not to make it about this, but I think a lot of misogyny and other prejudices like homophobia and even racism partially come from a macho-thing. For example: “Men always have to be better and stronger” – that headspace is where a lot of men operate from, so they think: “that means I have to put women or gay men down since they don’t meet my standards of manliness and people of other races aren’t as capable”. It’s always this machismo and this idea that men or a group of men are stronger or better. It creates a lot of problems, so I think feminism and the idea that people are equal is beneficial to men because it just makes us better people; less focused on proving ourselves. Young men having to prove themselves sexually is why rape-culture exists. It’s fucking dumb. And that’s men doing it to other men. So I think once that goes away, less harm will be done. It definitely has to start with men. Feminism would definitely be good for men. Obviously – it’s good for everyone. It sounds weird to say that a lot of changes in feminism could be helped by men but I think it does start with men. For example, if you just taught all boys that it’s not OK to pull girls’ hair, I think we would see less violence in those adults. And that’s just one thing.
Ponytails are actually the number one “assault hairstyle”. It’s easier to grab and control a woman’s head that way.
You said that and I just got a bunch of flashbacks to kids pulling girls’ ponytails. It’s so fucking dumb. There’s a huge part of it that starts with men and then there’s obviously women who work their whole lives from the ground up to build something for women. I think a lot of it comes from tearing down the shit that men have built to make way for that because we occupy a lot of thinking. I was reading an article today that all the streets are named after men and everything is just so fucking man-centric.
Do you think that making room for women is enough or do you think that our society wasn’t built to include women and we would have to restart completely if we wanted it to be equal?
Yeah that’s a good question. If we’re really really really getting into my personal beliefs, I think a lot of things are at the point where we just need to start over. We really need to smash the system on a lot of things and getting rid of misogyny is definitely one of those things where I think there’s a lot of smashing and starting over to do. It’s also frustrating because it’s one of those things where a lot of what we have to do is just teach the next generation to not do any of this shit. A lot of it is within the realm of human action so it’s frustrating to think that we have to upend the system to change something that if we all just decided to not be dicks, a lot of the pain would be alleviated and we could build something. Yeah, I definitely think starting over would not be the worst thing.
Why do you think the word “feminist” is associated with a negative stigma? What do you think it connotes? How do you think it could change?
It’s just men being fucking insecure. The word is obviously woman-centric, and anywhere that men can’t immediately carve out a space and plant a flag is a problem. It’s just a negative stereotype because men feel like they weren’t included and they feel like they’re being attacked. Then people are reminding you that: “Hey, the way you’re existing right now is fucked up” – people don’t want to hear that and so anyone who says anything to them is an asshole. Then feminists are “Feminazis” or whatever the fuck they want to say. I don’t want to speak for women but I think women who don’t like the term either are going off of male shit. Maybe their whole life they’ve heard that: “Feminists just want men to be slaves and they just want to take all men’s jobs”, so they hear that all their lives and think: “Well I don’t want to do that” because they don’t want to do that, so they think feminism is a bad thing. But no, it’s just not. I think it’s just men feeling weird about it. They feel attacked. Education would fix so many things; almost everything. It’s definitely a fucking great place to start anyway. And obviously changing laws that allow for women to be women and still get to live full lives and experience the world. I read some article the other day that said: we should be allowing women to experience the full range of womanhood without being attacked. Things like maternity leave (not that every woman’s going to have a child), but you should be able to have a child and still have your job. Laws and basic safety; job safety and street safety and all kinds of safety. There’s a lot that needs to change but I think education is first for sure because a dumb person will never change those laws.
What issues/reservations do you have with feminism today? What do you personally think needs change?
Well white feminism is a whole thing – feminism that doesn’t take intersectionality into account. For example the wage gap: I hear that it’s $0.75 to the male $1, but women of color actually make something like $0.55 or even lower. We don’t hear that part of the dialogue. Intersectionality definitely needs to get better. Also, it’s not a critique, it’s just a little footnote; but I wish that some feminists would be more acknowledging of the fact that young men are a really important demographic to reach. It can’t even be stated how important it is to reach young girls, but reaching young men is just as important. Young girls can be as confident as they want to be but they’re not going to be safer if young boys aren’t taught to not be the men or the fathers that their fathers were. Not to come down on female empowerment and young women being empowered (obviously that shouldn’t even change, that should just keep going), but young men are so important to reach because they’re going to be old men and they’re going to be those fucking old men and that’s going to suck. I also hate it when men get this extra pat on the back for being mildly feminist like Matt McGorry from “Orange Is The New Black”. This actor who plays a cop always posts things on his Instagram – he has uterus t-shirts that he wears and that’s dope but then he’ll get this extra praise like: “Matt McGorry is this such a feminist babe” and I think: “Alright, there are women who have died just saying the shit that he recycles from them.” I don’t know, it’s fine I guess.
There are also men who fake being feminists to appeal to women.
Oh yeah, that’s so creepy. There was this tattoo artist recently who was basically doing that. All of his social media was very feminist, very proactive or whatever and then it turns out he’s a fucking rapist and it’s so fucked up. I forgot what the question was but I don’t really have criticism outside of that. Teaching young boys is such an important part of the dialogue and it’s so easy to just have the “fuck all men” stance, which is understandable, but definitely educate men too. You can’t keep all men out and expect the whole system to change. I’m not saying that men have to be at the forefront but we’re the other half of the world which is what feminists always say: “They’re the other half of the world”. I don’t know. Men are just fucking dumb and they need an education too. The other thing I hate is when people say: “Women got the right to vote in 1912” – well, white women did. Black women had to wait until 1965. I think with a lot of women’s achievements people don’t acknowledge that there’s a whole racist side.
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Photo credit: Deryne Keretic
Well, it is an interesting point of view. It is similar if I was calling myself a lesbian, being a male lol
Is this some kind of joke?