I Tied the Knot With My Partner in a Foreign Land During This Pandemic

After dating for almost 2 years, my partner and I decided to take our relationship to the next level. Yes, we wanted to marry each other in the year when everything was falling apart.

Despite our imperfections, we knew we were perfect for each other and were in no mood to let our wedding be affected by these weird times.

In the first week of November, while we both were on our way back to home from work, my husband asked me about my thoughts on getting married. Even we both were on the same page, I had to pinch myself to ensure if this was happening for real.

And without being over-dramatic, I, with those twinkling eyes, instantly nodded my head with excitement! Now, the only question that we both were struggling with was ‘how shall we make this happen’?

This was the time when we didn’t want to risk our jobs, and fly to India to tie the knot. We didn’t want to take a chance and get stuck there. Also, we didn’t want to postpone it to the next year. We were in no mood to give the authority to this pandemic to decide on our wedding date.

We wanted to make this happen by the end of this year, and unluckily, my work and study commitments had given us a limited time window of organizing and managing everything. I had taken one of my exams in the second week of November, and the start date for the next course was November 28. So, all we had were two weeks to organize our wedding.

Somewhere, back in our minds, we knew that we had to get it all done, from shopping to arranging stuff for the wedding, in this limited time span.

So, after deciding that we both wanted to marry each other, at most, by the end of this year, and discussing it with other respective families, we got some good dates where we could have our civil ceremony as well as religious wedding as per our Indian traditions.

We applied for the marriage license, and booked civil ceremony on November 27. Though we had planned to have both civil and religious ceremonies on the same day, but that was not possible as the temple was pre-booked by some other couple on the same day.

We had the option to go for the civil ceremony alone, and then do the religious wedding in India. If it was the latter, then ‘when’ would have been a question for the coming days or months. So, we decided to take the plunge and chose different dates for both ceremonies.

Even if my wedding happened in an unusual manner during this pandemic, here are a few things that I learnt from it.

Choose the minimalist approach over ‘pleasing the society’

We relate weddings to big venues, thousands of guests, and spending enormous amounts on stuff that will be used for a single day. We are influenced by the societal norms, and are forced to follow them. The reason is simple: to ‘please the society’! But hey, the society won’t be there to help you if you get broke later.

Just like any other girl, I had dreams of having a lovely wedding. But at the same time, I understood the value of money. Spending it recklessly on a wedding was BS!

If I had the option to get married in a non-pandemic world, I still would have opted for a minimalist wedding style and invested the remaining money in something that brings me returns and not vanishes away just like that.

We kept both events sweet and simple. We spent money on limited yet important things such as our wedding attires, photography, and accessories to name a few. But whatever we bought or spent our money on, we ensured that we were not sacrificing on the quality. Also, we made sure that our budget was not getting affected by it.

It takes courage to accept and embrace the reality

It is every parent’s dream to witness their child’s wedding and our parents were no different. They knew that they won’t be able to make it on our big day amidst this pandemic, nor they wanted us to postpone the plans to the next year.

Understanding these crazy times, they supported us in our decision, and gave us the green signal to get married even if they were not physically there on our wedding day.

However, a week before our wedding, the opposite happened. I freaked out realizing that our parents need to be here with us. I knew about it already. This was not a brand new news for me. But still, I freaked out!

Now, we had two straight options: call off the religious wedding here and then do it in India after the situation gets better, or get married on the decided date. After having lots of discussions with my partner and our families, we decided to be a little practical, and stick to the original plan.

If I were going these emotions, I know how they would have felt at that time. It takes a lot of courage for parents to be this brave and supportive, and I am proud of having such cool and strong parents.

It’s a roller-coaster of emotions

“The great marriages are partnerships. It can’t be a great marriage without being a partnership.” — Helen Mirren

For these 2 weeks, I had been going through a lot of emotions. I was overwhelmed. I was missing my family. I was terribly exhausted at times. I was juggling with work, freelancing, and prepping up for the wedding.

My husband knew it well, and did every bit to keep me happy and fulfil my desires. From driving to a far-off city for shopping every weekend to helping me in every small and big tasks, he ensured that I was enjoying the entire process rather than stressing out.

I knew I was marrying the man of my dreams, but at this stage, I realized how lucky I was to have such an amazing life partner who did his every bit to keep me pampered and relaxed in this craziness.

Technology is your go-to option when everything else fails

The power of technology cannot be underestimated. It’s a sheer bliss when used for the right purpose.

Had the technology not been there during these weird times, our families wouldn’t have had the chance to witness those amazing live moments.

Even though we were sitting far away from our parents in a foreign land, we ensured that they didn’t miss a single moment of either of our special days.

After having lots of discussions and debates on which platform to go for, we decided to create a Facebook Live group followed by a Zoom call for both families, relatives, and friends.

Since this was the first time that I had chosen this option of going live on these platforms, I was a little nervous. But overall, it went well and we were happy of choosing these platforms.

Even if we were not physically together with our friends and families, and vice versa, we were able to feel their emotions and love. Thanks to the technology!

Final thoughts

It’s almost been a month since I got married and today, when I recall all those moments of doing preparations and managing everything all by ourselves, I can be nothing but proud.

From the very beginning, I had a clear mindset of being completely independent. But who knew that I’d be organizing my own wedding, almost the way I wanted it to be!

The only thing that I’d regret would be the absence of our parents on those big days. But to suffice that, we’ll hopefully plan out something once things get back to normal.

Anyone who is confused between whether they should marry during this pandemic or wait until it is over, I’d say ‘Go for it, guys!’ Don’t let this pandemic spoil your wedding plans. Celebrate your big day while keeping yourselves and your loved ones safe.

Cheers!

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Previously published on medium

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