Before moving to Australia, I had absolutely no problem being referred to as Black. Because that’s who I am.
But when I got here, I started sensing tension when the topic arose. Popple would hesitate to use the term Black and replace it with “African.”
And while there’s nothing wrong with that, I just don’t get the discomfort around the word Black.
Last year at a party, I uttered the term “Aboriginal,” and I felt the same tension rise in the air.
Apparently, the term is offensive.
How and why? I don’t know.
The correct word should be “First Nations People or Indigenous.”
As an immigrant who landed in the land down under not too long ago, I am acutely aware that I may be drowning in utter ignorance here.
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Political correctness is stifling our freedom of expression.
What happened to calling things what they are?
Does sugarcoating things work or is it a sign of fakeness?
How can we coexist or build connetions when we’re constantly walking on eggshells?
The truth? We make a big deal out of many things when they really aren’t.
We all need to chill and enjoy life. Those of us who are sensitive need to check our triggers and find a way of nipping them in the bud.
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Sometimes people don’t say things because they’re mean but because they want to be friendly.
When my husband was younger and not socially aware, he asked a woman whether she was pregnant. He meant no harm. That was the last time she spoke to him.
This question is asked so many times by men and women.
And quite frankly, I don’t get what’s so offensive about it. There’s nothing wrong with being pregnant, and there’s nothing wrong with having belly fat.
If you’re uncomfortable with your belly fat, do something about it.
Otherwise, shrug it off and keep it moving when someone mistakes you for a pregnant woman because you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
When people say random things like this, it’s not that they want to hurt us. But the reason their comments affect us is that we place too much value on other people’s opinions.
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Photo by Shutterstock.com
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What’s the big deal if someone gets your age wrong?
It would be great if people thought we were younger than our actual age. But we’re not all endowed with skin that ages backward.
But come on, who cares if people think you’re older than you are? Will it make your finger fall off? Does it change who you are?
Not in the least.
But do you know why it affects you? Because you don’t know who you are. and so other people’s definitions of you matter more than they should.
Not cool.
The older I get, the more appreciative I am of having made it this far.
Aging is a blessing. So many people would give anything to live a year longer than what the doctor has told them.
My primary school crush died when he was seventeen. I have relatives who left too soon.
They never had a chance to live their dreams, travel, or have a family.
Does someone think you’re five years older? Big deal. Have an ice cream and move on.
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Who cares how people eat their food?
You have to leave your country to realize there’s a whole world out there that does things completely different from the way you’ve been taught.
In India, they use their hands to eat Biryani (a rice dish)
In Kenya, we use our hands to eat Ugali (cornbread)
And yet, I’ve heard people say it’s disgusting or barbaric. You know yourselves. Oh, I’ve seen those demeaning looks too.
Here’s the thing, though, people do things the way they do based on culture and convenience. We’re all a product of our ancestors and the traditions they passed down to us.
It doesn’t mean they’re less than those who use a knife and fork.
We must stop judging people and accept them because they probably see things in us that we don’t.
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Why does breastfeeding in public drive people crazy?
I saw it not too long ago at a food court. The baby started wailing — he was hungry, obviously.
But when the mother popped the nipple, people looked at her funny. No one said a word, but it got me thinking,
It’s a nipple. It’s part of the body, like the arm or the leg.
I still can’t believe this is happening in the 21st century. Surely we should be over it by now. But nope.
Every one of us has sucked a nipple at some point in our lives.
Some of you grown dudes are still sucking nipples even now. You know what I’m talking about.
So, let’s all chill.
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Discussing “adult” topics in front of kids.
Kids are raised in the dark, and then we wonder why they go off and do crazy things.
Topics like safe sex, menstruation, and contraceptives are kept under wraps. At least that’s how it was when we were young.
As a mom in a vibrant digital era, I realized this information would get to my son whether I liked it or not.
Children nowadays aren’t as clueless as we like to admit, so we need to stop making these topics such a big deal and talk about them.
By demystifying them, we can equip them with accurate knowledge before they mess up.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com