I’m on a Mission to Replace What I Gave Away in a Divorce Thirty Years Ago

It turns out that I, while striving to be fair in dividing our property, gave my soon to be ex-husband stuff I really wanted and should have kept. Fair didn’t really work out to be fair.

I know because thirty-some odd years later, the “good” china I took with me is worth far less than the everyday stoneware I left for him. Who knew?

More than monetary value, though, the stoneware is Dansk Mesa Blue, a Southwestern design. I was and am the Southwestern design person, as witnessed by the fact that I currently live in the Southwest, surrounded by Southwestern art and Southwestern furnishings in my home.

I don’t know what his home looks like, but he lives on the East coast, and inherited everything of his mother’s, who definitely did not appreciate Southwestern style. His ever owning anything Southwestern was because I was the decorator of our home.

I also left him with coffee table bases that are currently impossible to find, or at least impossible for under $2,000. There was one set online for $2,500, plus shipping. He’s probably the one selling them, or the one who sold ours originally. I kept two oversized fiberglass Native American pots.

There was also a nearly life-sized Native American statue that I left for him, while taking a smaller one that depicted a stylized Native American mother and child. I was pregnant when we divorced.

My kitty, Trixie Minx, broke the mother and child statue. Remember what they say about cats and curiosity. She also knocked over one of the fiberglass Native American pots, but lucky for her, fiberglass doesn’t break. She gave it a valiant cat try.

When I tried to replace the statue, I discovered both his and mine are vintage pieces no longer available. I fell for an online scam on the mother and child one, and lost $75. The other one can’t be found. Maybe he kept it, but I doubt it. He married someone immediately after we divorced, who expressed her dismay over my style and housekeeping to his and my mutual friends. I have to think he/she sold it all.

Since I live in Santa Fe now, there is a good opportunity to replace my statue, though not in the same form. Which makes me sad, because my child grew up loving that statue which represented us.

As for the table bases, I walked into a resale shop here in Santa Fe last Spring, and amazingly saw smaller versions, painted in bright Southwestern colors. Our originals were off-white. The proprietor informed me that Carol Burnett, who also lives in Santa Fe, has one on her fireplace mantle. Mother loved Carol Burnett. I took it as an omen.

Mine now proudly grace my Kiva fireplace (see featured image). They also cost a fraction of what the off-white ones would have, and are much more vibrant, so there’s that.

Having emotionally, and in practicality, let the statues go, and now owning the closest version to the coffee table bases available, one would think I would be done. One would be wrong.

But now it has friends

Since I moved to Santa Fe with very little furniture, having left most of mine with my son, I haunt the consignment and resale shops, and frequent Facebook Marketplace. Last week someone on Marketplace posted, you guessed it, some Dansk Blue Mesa stoneware.

It was priced too high, and they rejected my offer, so I decided to investigate elsewhere. Which is how I discovered these “everyday” dishes are worth far more than my china.

I started a journey to find pieces at the most reasonable prices, out of curiosity. I compared all prices, offered lower than asking prices, looked at offers from sellers that were lower than asking prices, and generally spent a ridiculous amount of time on Etsy and Ebay, all out of curiosity. You know what they say about cats and curiosity.

I will soon receive four dinner plates, four mugs and saucers and four soup/cereal bowls. Also a serving bowl to match the one piece I did take with me, a large baking dish. Funny, since he was the cook. Not sure how I got out the door with it. But now it has friends.

I currently use the china for everyday. Or what’s left of it, as china is notoriously fragile. When the Dansk Blue Mesa arrives, the china will have to shove over.

The question remains. Am I going backwards or resolving loss?

I believe I am resolving loss.

I can’t be going backwards, because I wouldn’t take the husband back no matter how good a deal I was offered on him.

. . .

For more on my first world sorrows and triumphs, read this link.

—

This post was previously published on New Choices.

***