TODD ADAMS
When I heard the news about the law that passed in Texas, I said to myself “That’s wrong and I wish that law didn’t pass.” I then went on with the rest of my day without giving it much more thought. In other words, it really didn’t affect my day because it doesn’t affect me. But I slowly became more bothered that a group of mostly white men made a decision that will affect an enormous number of women in Texas, and you can bet that other states are keeping a very close eye and will most likely do the same.
I recently realized something so unbelievable obvious – women don’t get women pregnant. Men do. And we are let off the hook and then we tell women what they can and cannot do with their bodies. This does not make sense to me. I know this issue is layered and highly charged, but men are tuning out a problem that they play a big role in creating.
After getting more time to understand this bill and its ramifications, I know I need to speak out. As a man with a wife and three daughters, it is a human rights issue – with a blatant disregard for who it actually harms while pushing away research that may actually make a difference.
I speak up about this issue with some apprehension because I know my opinion will align with some men, yet others may be opposed to what I say, which is their right. I’m not here to call men out, rather I will steal a line from Tony Porter, one of my favorite teachers from A Call To Men . It’s time to call men in. I want to call men into discussing what’s happening in Texas, and other issues on gender equity that we have been less willing to discuss.
When George Floyd was murdered in May 2020, our organization quickly shifted our offerings and programming (both virtual and in-person) to invite conversations on racial equity. This Texas law is an invitation for men to come together and lean into a discussion that is impacting an entire state of women. Right now, clinics have ceased providing abortions for women if they are past six weeks pregnant, well before most women know they are pregnant. This six-week rule still applies if the pregnancy was a result of incest or rape. When the Governor of Texas was asked today why he would place this limitation on victims of rape, he said he plans to “eliminate all rapists from the streets”, demonstrating a deep lack of understanding about rape, the criminal justice system, and just reality overall. On the very same day, Mexico’s Supreme Court decided to decriminalize abortion, meaning that Texas now has more restrictive laws than the 2nd most Catholic country in the world.
So, I am challenging myself to:
- Learn more about the impact of this law
- Engage in conversations with the women in my life and see the world from their perspective
- Have conversations with other men about gender equality
- Follow other male thought leaders such as Jackson Katz and Tony Porter who believe in a healthy masculinity that aligns with my values.
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Todd Adams co-founded Zen Parenting, Inc., a company committed to helping people practice self-awareness, develop compassion, and practice kindness through podcasts, community events, books, and blogs. He is the co-host of Zen Parenting Radio Podcast- their motto…“the best predictor of a child’s well-being is a parent’s self-understanding.” He co-created Zen Parenting Conference– an annual weekend dedicated to connection and inspiration.
In 2015 he founded Todd Adams Coaching– “Coaching For Guys” His life coaching certification is through the Tony Robbins Core 100 Life Coaching Program.
Todd is a member of the Mankind Project and a staff member of the New Warrior Training Adventure, and he’s a blogger for The Good Men Project. He’s also a Board Member of Navigate Adolescence which is an organization dedicated to raising the emotional intelligence of boys.
Todd is a certified instructor for the Institute of Heartmath where he was trained in stress reduction and relaxation. Todd is a Junior Achievement Educator at the elementary school level. He has also been an expert guest of the acclaimed on-line parenting resource Kids In The House. He’s also a sales rep for JVI Inc., a real estate investor in Chicagoland, and he and Cathy are the parents of three daughters ages 11, 14, & 16.
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Previously Published on menliving.org and is republished on Medium.
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