David S. Shaw has Parkinson’s, but that’s not why he falls down.
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I like falling, and sometimes I do it on purpose.
I’ve never worked as a comedian, but on occasion was open to risk a little injury for a laugh. I was open to taking a fall somewhere safe, in order to make a point.
Long before my diagnosis with Parkinson’s disease I gave up on falling for the fun of it. It just got to be too scary with age.
The first time I recall going down was at a company award dinner.
I was up for receiving an etched trinket for surviving five years with the organization. As I walked down an isle when my name was called, an impulse just came over me to hook my foot around a leg of the head table and fake a face plant. I got a big collective guffaw. It didn’t hurt the pre-fall mood that the audience had prior access to alcohol.
Falling got laughs from completely sober audiences as well.
As a social worker counseling individuals with physical disabilities, I had been often taken by how some individuals with disabilities used humor to deflect negative prejudice and put downs.
I did a presentation at a conference for service providers of individuals with disabilities, entitled “Funny as a Crutch.” The workshop focused on how service provider insecurities about the disease and their own mortality can lead to attitudes that can reduce empathic helping care delivery.
I had various props for the presentation.
As I carried a metal tray filled with markers and cups and notes across the room I “misjudged” the position of a plastic chair and went flying. The clang and clatter and my breathy exclamation were followed by a brief silence from those gathered to learn. Then there was laughter.
It is of course quite normal for human beings to have some fear of infirmity and falling. We strive to prevent it, control it and deny it. We can laugh about it too. Humor can be a gateway to better coping with the horrible.
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Such antics set up a dialog on the difference between laughing at someone else’s misfortune and laughing with them. It is of course quite normal for human beings to have some fear of infirmity and falling. We strive to prevent it, control it and deny it. We can laugh about it too. Humor can be a gateway to better coping with the horrible.
Some of my falls have not been as well received.
One time I was talking to a group of individuals with severe physical disabilities and their caretakers. When I took a dive, the service recipients cracked up immediately but their service providers looked pained. They thought I was serious, and I had to apologize for their stress before they realized that my fall was a joke.
Humor can go a long way in substance abuse treatment.
With groups of individuals that I worked with who were undergoing substance abuse disorder treatment, after picking myself up, I would imitate a drunken stagger.
Alcohol or drugs may often be the “go to remedy” for social anxiety. As part of treatment, sober humor can provide a great alternative to getting wasted. If you are hurting from a situation that you could laugh about it, why wait? Getting better able to laugh at yourself means you are getting better. When you can smile at your inability to control everything, you will ease your stress and change your mindset.
I became a fall-down, stand-up comedian for a “lack of talent show” as part of the Massachusetts Men’s Gathering. As I climbed the steps to the stage, I fell down.
The laughs erupted and I used the moment to chastise the men for not rushing to my aide. I told them that women would have treated me with some care and compassion and that I had expected more from such a select group of men. We all had a good laugh.
Getting better able to laugh at yourself means you are getting better. When you can smile at your inability to control everything, you will ease your stress and change your mindset.
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When humor hurts.
Men often love sarcastic and physical humor. Some men will use humor as a double edged sword and then say, “Can’t you take a joke?”
The key discernment is are you laughing at or laughing with. Common male conversation can involve a hefty dose of insult humor. Participating in the type of conversations inspired by the Good Men Project can help improve how you respond.
Men are getting better at honestly responding to sarcasm by speaking up when something hurts.
The key discernment is are you laughing at or laughing with. Common male conversation can involve a hefty dose of insult humor.
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I’m not falling down anymore
I am grateful that my medication for Parkinson’s Disease is keeping me off the floor. The reality is that one day it may not. I have learned that I can feel sorry for myself, or I can laugh at my fail-able humanity.
I hope that as my disease progresses I will not need to rely much on others to keep me moving. I hope that if and when I do, they will find that to be a meaningful role and if they should see me fall, we can laugh together.
I have learned a great deal about life by falling down, for the fun of it. Next time you fall. Laugh and then get up! You may just enjoy it.
Photo by podoboq