Hello, humans with dicks.
We meet again.
I know you’re all dying to know what it is that women find unattractive about you.
Lucky for you, I’m a woman with answers.
I’ve compiled a list of major turn-offs that men do that really piss women off.
Please take notes, okay?
Your toxic masculinity is showing
We get it. Real men don’t cry.
We’re all a result of a patriarchal society, so some of this isn’t *exactly* your fault.
It’s ingrained in our society.
But when you talk about how old that actress looks in the movie we’re watching, we notice.
It’s okay if you cry. In fact, we encourage it.
Don’t think being the “big tough guy” is the only way to win us over.
I’m simplifying this topic, I know. In fact, women enable the toxic masculinity plot line, too.
But all in all? We don’t want the robot man. We want the guy who cries at funerals.
You don’t know how to have an honest conversation
Let’s get real here. Oh wait, can you even do that?
Honest communication is necessary in a relationship. And if you can’t handle that, then boy, bye.
This one is for the guys who make a joke when we say that we love them.
This one is for the guys who avoid texting us on our periods.
If you’re not ready to open up to us or talk to us about serious stuff, then you’re not ready for us.
You seriously need a pedicure
This one is pretty petty, I admit.
But for the love of God, please take care of your feet.
Here’s a list of musts in foot care:
- Clip. Your. Toenails. It’s not that hard!
- Invest in a pumice stone. I don’t want your scratchy feet rubbing on mine in bed.
- Do something about that odor.
And let’s not stop at foot care.
Shower regularly. Manscape, please. Use the air freshener in the bathroom. Wash your sheets.
It’s not that hard, I promise.
You aren’t comfortable with our ambition
I’m shocked that I still have to say this.
I am a very ambitious person, and that can be intimidating, but come on.
My boyfriend is all for it.
He doesn’t care that we make the same amount of money. He doesn’t care that I bought our house.
Screw the old gender rules.
In a relationship, both parties need to contribute, but there are no gender-specific jobs anymore.
He likes to clean and I like to cook. That doesn’t make him less of a man or me less of a woman.
You drive like you’re invincible
Slow the f*ck down, Vin Diesel.
I’ll admit: I’m an overly cautious driver. But what is it with guys and their over-the-top speed racing?
Fine, risk your life. But don’t screw with mine.
If you want to pretend that you’re in the Indy 500, that’s your business.
But I will be taking my own car, thanks.
You don’t take our advice (or even listen to it)
This may come as a shock, but women have good ideas.
I know! Who knew?
My boyfriend was raised by a single mom.
That man is the most feminist guy I’ve ever dated.
Do you know how refreshing it is to find a man who not only listens to you, but actually *takes* your advice?
Men, it’s time to start practicing your listening skills. Especially when it’s a female voice that you’re hearing.
You’re coming on way too strong
This one may be slightly subjective.
Sometimes, a fast-moving guy is a good thing, but usually only when a woman is matching your speed.
How do you know that?
Well, body signals. Chemistry. You know, stuff that’s always easy to read. (Not.)
I’m suggesting that this *could* be your problem.
If a woman is avoiding you or closing off, there’s always a reason.
Ask yourself these questions:
- How many times do I text her in a day?
- How quickly did I set up a second date?
- Did she flinch when I told her I loved her?
Give her space to breathe. And hell, you can ask her outright, too. Just stop pushing so hard.
You’re not asking enough questions about us
We’ve all had those dates.
It is the kind of date where at the end of the night you think back and say, “He didn’t ask one thing about me.”
Don’t be an asshole.
You’re not on this date to listen to yourself talk.
Dating is about getting to know someone and then figuring out if you want to keep knowing them.
So, you have to actually let her talk about herself.
Gasp.
You can’t tell us how you feel
Hello, toxic masculinity. We meet again.
You make us work too hard, guys. We are not mind readers.
This will only work if you use your words.
There’s nothing more frustrating then trying to get a guy to open up about his feelings. It’s exhausting.
So, please, just save us the work.
Tell us what’s up.
(Oh and we’ll try to stop saying “I’m fine” whenever you ask us what’s wrong. No promises, though.)
You aren’t taking any initiative in the relationship
Again, please stop making us work so hard.
Ask us on a date, please.
And don’t make us decide where to eat.
I’m not saying we want you to *always* be in charge. We just don’t want to get lazy and leave it all up to us.
And if you’re not sure what we want, ask us! We’ll tell you where you need to step up.
Spoiler: There are way more turn-offs than these
Look, I could go on and on.
Perhaps you are getting mad and listing all the sh*tty things women do, too.
Fine.
The bottom line? Learn from your mistakes & get feedback from exes and your partner.
The only way you’ll get better is if you know what you need to fix.
We’re rooting for you.
—
This post was previously published on Medium.com.
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want a deeper connection with our community, please join us as a Premium Member today.
Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: iStock
