Missing the Ones You’ve Lost

Getting stuck in the grief process is easy, but learning to cope is the right way to handle it. I have myself been a victim of not being able to process losing loved ones ideally, but the points listed below are what I have learned and what helped me on the way:

Feel the emotion

Allow yourself to feel sad. Losing someone is like losing a part of yourself. Let yourself feel the pain. Do not neglect it. Take some time off and cry if you want to.

Say No to activities you do not want to engage in, but ensure that you are not isolating yourself. Talk to who you feel comfortable talking to, write in your journal, and if nothing helps, speak to a therapist. Take a break but do not isolate yourself.

Sympathy can sometimes get a lot; put it off for some time until you feel strong. Dealing with the emotions that come along with a loss is hard; the solution that I have learned is to balance. While I allow myself to cry and feel sad, I also do not get stuck in the process of negative thoughts and hold myself together to remind my mind that life goes on.

Immerse yourself in things you enjoy

The best way to move on from any heartache is to focus on yourself. Add flavor to your life so that it does not seem so bad. Start a project you have always wanted to take up, go for a walk, and laugh whenever possible.

Taking care of your body becomes all the more important during such a period. Our mental health is directly related to our physical health. Exercise and move your body; it will naturally make you feel better. Eat healthy and nutritious foods. If possible, get a body test, seek a physician’s help to find out if you are facing any deficiencies, and take the prescribed supplements.

Go out with your friends, watch uplifting movies, and listen to songs. Give yourself a break but do not let it stretch. Instead, do something that you love or something that makes you happy every day, even if you do not feel like it. Adding small doses of happiness every day will eventually add up and make your pain much more bearable.

Celebrate their life

Make the memories you spent with them a joyous remembrance. Do not push yourself through it if you do not feel like it. Take all the time you need until you feel ready.

Whatever you love to do, fill it with an element of them. If you love to sing, write a song about them. If you love to write, make it about them. You do not have to share it if you do not want that; the whole idea is to cherish the memories and the time spent together.

Fill the void by engaging in something they love. I was recently overwhelmed with all the household chores and am also sluggish with them. I can read non-fiction and write articles all day but when it comes to cleaning my room, boy, do I need a pep talk every time. My parents, however, loved the cleanliness, so I connected all the activities with them. Now, cleanliness and taking care of the house have become an act of remembering who they were.

You do not have to be so practical about it; I like it that way but do find a way to celebrate their life. I just opted for a way that fits with my goals and routine while allowing me to cherish their memories in my life.

Talk to a professional

We always rely on our loved ones to vent our feelings, but the problem is they are not always aware of the ideal solutions. Even if they want to help us, they would not know how. A professional helps you learn the right tools and strategies to heal through the process productively.

I will share the details of my therapist for your reference:

mail: [email protected]; insta: sitwith_rahi,

and if you cannot afford to pay for it, this might help: Free Therapy

Also, personal suggestion: Therapy is worth the investment.

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If you have any questions, hit me up: [email protected]

Thanks for reading.

Check out my other pieces on relationships and life here: Bhanu Singhal

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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