More Feminism for Men, Please

Take advantage

Men, and a man’s concerns, are not typically looked upon as a feminist issue. Yet, males’ benefit from feminism in ways that are better for them, better for society, and — let’s not forget entirely — better for women.

Feelings and toxic masculinity

“Not all men” is the rallying cry for those men who see themselves as allies for equality, and worry, nevertheless that “toxic masculinity” is being applied to them. It’s a bit odd that we don’t think of all women when we say “working women”, as if all women don’t “work!”

Adjectives don’t always fit descriptions well.

Men are taught to repress feelings, especially tender and human ones. This hurts them, and leads to mental health, communication, attachment disorders, and in some cases, domestic violence. At the very least, it reinforces old, painful gender rigidity.

Again, “not all men” but most mass shootings, and everyday murders are committed by men who share ideologies that think of feeling men as weak men.

Emotion, it cannot be emphasized enough, is a wonderful tool to use to know thyself. Expression of emotion is strong, not weak, because repressing it displays a lack of control of it.

Homophobia, hate, and intolerance are also perpetrated, hurting men in every role they have.

Rape culture

Men don’t like being accused of rape, or being held responsible for rape culture. Rape culture is any culture where enthusiastic consent is not honored as the most reasonable expectation in sexual encounters.

We are no where near enthusiastic consent so long as older men groom younger women, or when employers and coaches have more power and control over women and girls. It is also found where corporate and governmental leadership is not blessed with equal representation with both sex and gender.

It is found where women are seen as vessels, or objects, as in most pornographic venues, and men are seen as “powerful” when they take charge, call names, or act aggressively.

Language, please

That the B word exists easily, and comfortably, in music, art, culture, entertainment, and more, is indicative that we are still very much a misogyny-based culture. The N word — also often said as the last thing heard by murder victims — is very taboo for good reason. We should note the same about our casual acceptance of sexism, especially toward female BIPOC.

And then, Good riddance to the utterly rude.

Even the “son of the B, or the word “bastard” has deep, ugly, and sexist roots in society.

Employment, government, leadership and law

Lack of equal and fair representation worldwide results in places where domination and exploitation is more supported than men.

Diversity is nature’s way of creating strength and resilience. Men suffer in situations where they must always fight for control. Intersectional diversity helps us all.

Men driven by economic and power competition alone are often unfulfilled, disconnected, and on high alert. They also tend to drop dead of heart attacks. They are forced to struggle with constant conflict of general resentment and fear from rungs above, and below.

Still not a male feminist?

People who use their life purpose for equality are happier. Allies and activists are happier because they feel less helpless, less victimized, and more in control of autonomy by not having to police their own, or others’ behavior.
Women love, and show more gratitude, to men who stand up for freedom and choice.

Feminist men have better sex lives.

That is, men of quality are not afraid of equality, and it shows in many, many ways.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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Photo credit:  Samantha Sophia on Unsplash