The challenge on earth begins when one knows that his/her purpose is to assist others. However, one must not fail to receive the warnings leading to the understanding that something may be and probably is amiss when endeavoring to assist both strangers and acquaintances. He/she must not be reluctant to see the handwriting on the walls and shall adhere to the screaming voices of logic and accept that the world and its problems are bigger than him/her and that it is not intended for him/her to be everyone’s savior.
The pain of being “used” may often be a costly and very agonizing lesson to have to learn, it can be and often is damaging to the ego, the wallet, and sometimes may place a temporary “pothole” in your self-esteem.
Far too many people see loving, compassionate, caring persons as “self-serving” glory hounds, rather than embrace their willingness to make life easier and more comfortable for others. We do not look for, nor do we desire; “at-a-boys”, pats on the backs, hearing our names called and having others make spectacles of us to bring attention to themselves.
Once I began to realize just how far the word reciprocate was dismissed from the vocabulary and even farther from the psyche of a number of people that I had the privilege of interacting with, the lenses of my bifocals became single focused, some of the fog cleared and the displaced hostilities and their inappropriate actions and reactions began to become clearer as I gained a better concept and understanding of their reluctance to receive the gifts that I was bearing. I had to reassess; my purpose, my direction, my focus and my dispensation of energy to continue to be involved in specific situations.
The disappointments and disgust I swallowed clogged my throat like a dust storm in the desert, even to the point of anger and several times almost allowing myself to be thrust in a fit of rage. Once I began to realize that I was allowing things to cause me chagrin and bitterness, I learned to dust myself off wish the ado, and amicably vacate the premises.
The separation was often bittersweet, I labored over people’s laissez-faire attitude about pursuing and achieving successes. One of my bittersweet experiences brought about a bittersweet positive. I was inspired to pen a first-place winning poetic piece titled, “It Doesn’t Matter What You Want For Someone Else It Only Matters What They Want For Themselves.”
Although I often smile when I look at that first-place trophy, I am saddened because of the negative inspiration that prompted me to write it, if we can, in fact, identify negative behavior’s as a source of inspiration. The knife cuts more deeply when it is a family member, especially when said family member only realizes that you are family and feel that their reason for acknowledging you will benefit them, their primary purpose is always to seek financial gain.
There is an old saying that goes, “if you find a fool, bump his head,” the disconcerting aspect of this little quip is that far too many people take kindness for weakness. Failing to realize that you have already deciphered their intent, however; you ignore that radar and the siren that goes off in your psyche in an effort to help redirect them and to possibly improve their existence.
I must say, to apologize to others for being a compassionate, caring, thoughtful, loving individual should never be compromised because of those that have somehow failed to love themselves.
In my quest to thwart myself from attempting to fix every body’s problems, I concentrate more on eliminating more of my flaws, my bad decisions, and my misplaced aggressions by becoming more discerning of those of which I attempt to “fix,” fully understanding that it doesn’t matter what you want for someone else; it only matters what they want for themselves.
Melvin “Casey” Lars ©
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