Brian Gawlak advises a wife who is wondering how to make her husband feel like a better dad.
I love synchronicity. I just finished editing a chapter of the manuscript I’ve been working on in which I describe my first days as a stay-at-home dad with my oldest daughter literally moments before I read your question.
In the chapter, I flash back to when my wife and I met at age 19, and how we both swore we were very anti-traditional and would never marry (not just each other, but anyone), and certainly would never have children. We are both the products of broken homes with marriages that did not end well, and found the concept of parenthood “limiting.” I recall within the chapter the extraordinary terror I felt taking care of a fragile and delicate human being, while completely clueless to what I was doing and endlessly searching for the “instructions on how to parent.” I remember the unimaginable self-critic I was regarding every single thing I did “wrong,” or at less than 100%. Your question made me re-conjure those images in my mind in my attempt to empathize and relate to where your husband is coming from.
I know a lot of couples who planned exactly how many children they were going to have and were in agreement 100%. I also know an equal number of couples who were blessed with multiples, who were barren, and who did not see eye to eye when it came to the issue of how many kids to have. Do you think the issue of one wanting more children than his/her spouse is a deal breaker?
This article originally appeared at Dear Dad. Reprinted with permission.
Photo credit: DVIDSHUB/flickr