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“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us”. – Hal Borland
New Year’s weekend 2004 into 2005, I began a ritual that I want to continue for the rest of this lifetime. It was an out- of- the ordinary weekend in many ways. A retreat at a beautiful bay front home at the Jersey shore, attended by kindred spirits who danced, sang, drummed, laughed, hugged, cooked and ate together.
At midnight, we went outside and howled at the moon overlooking the bay. The weather was unusual for this part of the country, as on New Year’s Day, we did yoga on the beach in 70-degree temps. After the practice, I took a solitary walk at water’s edge and felt, as I occasionally do, a bit sorry for myself. Sometimes even this Bliss Mistress gets the blues. I was looking at life stuff and experiencing relationship disappointment and saw no way beyond them at that moment. In a flash, I said to myself: “Snap out of it, woman! Let’s make a list of all of the loving souls you have drawn into your life in 2004 and all of the beyond- belief experiences you have had.” And so, I did. With each name and experience and step, I felt lighter physically and emotionally.
When the calendar turned over from 2014 to 2015, I turned an important page in my life. Mid-year found me in a hospital bed with IVs and wires attached, beeps and buzzes sounding. On my way home from a ‘normal’ gym workout, at age 55, I had a heart attack. Such a wakeup call to slow down and ease back, to cherish the people in my life and all the full of wonder moments that awaited me.
A year earlier, I spoke at New Thought Philadelphia on the topic of Pivotal Moments. During the presentation for a group of folks who are guided by the teachings of Ernest Holmes and know that our thoughts are creative, I shared some experiences that in retrospect, laid the foundation for my current life. One was the appearance of shingles that showed up at Thanksgiving, 2013 and lasted in earnest for a few weeks. A year later, I was well past them, with the occasional ‘shingles tingles’ on my left forehead. A month after the aforementioned cardiac event, I was back in the ER with kidney stones. A ‘blesson,’ which is a convergence of the words blessing and lesson, is how I think of it now. In a million years, I would not have imagined my life as it these days.
Since then, I have:
- Created time for rest, work and play, rather than primarily focusing on work.
- Been more fully present with a full range of human emotions; not just the pretty, fluffy, rainbow lollipop version that I thought people wanted to see.
- Discovered that the heart attack gave me the freedom to live whole-heartedly.
- Took my dream of a lifetime journey as I hugged my way across Ireland.
- Acknowledged that in order for life to catch up to me, I needed to slow down.
- Received the confirmation from a friend that I am a “Divine Distribution Center for Blessings.”
- Reconciled myself to the reality that some relationships needed releasing with love so that I could move on.
- Surrendered to what is, rather than only as I would have them be.
- Opened the door to opportunities to do what I love and be well compensated for it
- Done forgiveness work.
- Learned to say no without feeling guilty.
- Stretched waaaay beyond my comfort zone in so many areas.
- Kept commitments to myself that I had broken in the past.
- Grieved who I thought I was and embraced who I truly am.
Since the words “I am,” are considered of ultimate importance and everything that follows them helps shape our reality….
In the coming year, I am:
- Welcoming all manner of miracles.
- Calling in my Life Partner.
- Living vibrantly.
- Healthier and stronger, slimmer and trimmer every day.
- Teaching wherever I choose.
- Overcoming fear of ‘not enough-ness.’
- Do one or more TED Talks
- Celebrating life to the fullest as I open the door, cross the threshold, and usher in this shiny New Year.
Take inventory of the past year. Take out a piece of paper and pen and think back to January 1st of the current year. If you can recall where you were on that day, jot that down. Perhaps the memory is pleasant and one you want to relish. If it’s something you would rather forget, remind yourself that you survived it and use it as a springboard for leaping into a rewarding new year. Either way, give yourself credit for getting to the point where you are today, focusing on positive changes. Think about the places to which you’ve traveled or the beyond-your-wildest-dreams experiences you’ve had.
Make room for what you want. Make a list of what it is you want to release from this year. It could be limited beliefs, fierce fears, oppressively perseverative thoughts or worn-out baggage that you’ve been carrying around way too long. Don’t edit or censor as you write. Once you have your list made, read it out loud. Feel the power these things may once have had over you and from which you’re now prepared to free yourself from. If you have a fireplace, outdoor pit or grill, toss the list into the flames and literally watch them go up in smoke.
Open your own “door.” Imagine a doorway through which you will be stepping. Describe the size, shape, color, and design of the door. Do you hear a sound as you walk through the door? Take a full breath notice if there’s an aroma wafting about. Remember that this is your portal to walk through — your life to design as you so choose. No one else has created this space and only the experiences and people you invite will show up there. Know that your history isn’t your destiny.
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Photo credit: Shutterstock