I’m not in a romantic relationship right now, but I have friends who are married or seeing someone. I hear complaints of all kinds from my homies about how their partner (husband usually) annoys the sh*t out of them. Some of them I can totally relate to while others are downright ridiculous. Married people: before you go researching couples counseling cost, let’s take a moment to laugh at what you find problematic in your relationships.
He keeps his socks on during sex
I have to say when I heard this one I laughed out loud. No matter how much she told her husband that it bothered her that his socks stayed on, he insisted that he liked to get it on with socks on his feet. Hey man, whatever works for you.
He leaves his socks everywhere
Yes, we’re talking about socks again and I’m not sorry about it, because this one I can relate to. One of the most irritating thing is finding socks around your house in random places: the floor, the couch, the refrigerator or in the bathroom sink. Is it hard to put them in the hamper? I don’t get it. Can you please associate dirty socks with a laundry bag? Thank you.
Leaving empty containers in the fridge
Listen, we all run out of food items. It’s a reality that when you finish something, the carton doesn’t have anything left inside of it. The solution to this problem is to throw the container out and write your partner a note that you need to buy ____.
Springing things on you at the last minute
“So my mom is coming to stay with us tomorrow.” Nope, you did not tell me that and please don’t pretend like you did. Also, now I have 24 hours to clean the house and you’re going to help me do it. Why didn’t you tell me this a week ago? I bet you a million dollars you knew about it but just didn’t say anything.
The cat litter isn’t being scooped
When you have a cat, you need to take care of it. That includes feeding it and scooping the litter. Is it so hard to do that? Seriously! This is especially important for pregnant women, since they’re not supposed to touch cat excrement. I have a friend who refers to her biggest fight with her man as the “litter box fight.”
Not calling places and asking you to do it
Whether it’s calling to order pizza or making phone arrangements for a past due bill if they won’t do it this causes problems and resentment. If one person is constantly calling people and the other one won’t touch the phone there’s definitely going to be words. Why can’t you talk to someone so we can eat damn it?
These are just a few of the irritating behaviors my friends have confided in me. I think they’re hilarious and relatable. It’s hilarious that socks cause so many problems in marriages. Maybe we should eliminate them from the picture. They’re consistently getting lost anyway.
A version of this post was previously published on huffpost.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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