Read This if You’re Tired of Your Own Excuses About Being Single

As a dating coach and writer, I’ve heard them all…

“Women don’t like me because I’m ugly/short/poor/a certain race.”
“I’m not trying to date right now because I’m working on XYZ.”
“It’s impossible for me to improve with women. Dating coaches are scammers.”
“All women are bad people. I’m better off alone.”

These excuses are why so many men live lives of quiet desperation, either by themselves or with a woman they don’t even like.

Most men have been exposed to the idea that they can learn to become better with women and improve their romantic situation. They may have even witnessed someone in their situation who’s amazing with women. It’s just that they refuse to accept it.

Accepting this truth would mean admitting that their lousy dating life is their fault, and that’s difficult for many men to admit.

Even when the proof is right in front of their eyes, they’ll find a reason why they can’t take action on it.

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It’s Time To Change

The truth is: there’ll always be an excuse if you go looking for them. There’ll always be a reason not to invest time into improving your seduction skills.

If you want your dating life to change, it’s time to switch your perspective.

Instead of looking for excuses, ask yourself what you could do now.

Most people could carve out an hour to go outside and work on their social skills if they wanted it enough.

Most people could find reasons not to if they didn’t.

It’s time to ask yourself what camp you belong in.

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What’s Really Holding You Back?

There’s a significant group of men who consume men’s dating advice, but don’t act upon it. The main reason why isn’t listed in the bullets above.

Most men don’t take action because they’re afraid.

But I’m here to tell you that fear isn’t that bad.

Fear means that something is important.

If you had no fear, that would mean there’s nothing on the line.

Here, you know that if you tried and failed, it would hurt. Because, deep down, you want to be able to attract a perfect partner (or several). Everyone does.

For something so vital to a good life, don’t you think it’s worth taking a few risks?

In my journey to becoming great with women, I suffered plenty of rejections, embarrassments and nights when no-one wanted to talk to me.

But I trusted the process that had worked for my coaches and their students. I understood that failure was part of the process. This is what builds the wisdom and resilience to succeed. So, I learned from my mistakes and kept going until I succeeded. And it was worth every ounce of time and effort I put in.

Most men need to experience a rock-bottom moment before they commit to this journey.

A break-up. A romantic humiliation. An extensive period without intimacy.

Only then do they approach a coach and pursue a better dating life with full determination.

In my experience as a coach, it’s these guys with the fire in their bellies who tend to succeed.

And what do they all say afterwards?

“I wish I’d started earlier.”

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How Badly Do You Want It?

You don’t need to wait for a painful rock-bottom moment to start living the dating life of your dreams.

Why not decide you want that now? There’s no better time than now.

In Mark Manson’s best-selling book ‘The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck’, he explained the importance of giving a fuck about the right things.

When you give enough fucks about your overall mission, it becomes easier to stop giving them about everything else.

So, now’s the time to commit to your mission of becoming a ladies’ man and/or finding your perfect partner. This is a mission worth fighting for. A mission to save yourself from loneliness. A mission to find the mother of your future children.

When you zoom out and remember the big picture, it becomes easier to motivate yourself into action. You’ll find a ‘how’ when you have a strong enough ‘why’.

You should give so many fucks about succeeding that you don’t care what happens along the way. A few strange looks? Some harsh rejections? An old man telling you to leave a woman alone? Accept that this will happen at some point and decide it’s a price worth paying. All worthwhile journeys are paved with hurdles and adversity.

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My new book ‘Offline Dating’ gives you tried-and-tested steps to help you meet and seduce women in the real wherever you see them. It’ll help improve your mindset, understand women and do what’s needed to attract them into your life. To learn more, click here or watch the video below.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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