A big reason many relationships fall apart is because most couples don’t make clear, conscious agreements. In this episode, I talk with Krista and Will VanderVeer (hosts of The Art of We podcast) about how relationship agreements can profoundly deepen intimacy, support emotional repair, and help couples navigate the ups and downs of love with more grace and clarity.
Relationship Agreements: The Key to a Stronger Partnership: Show Notes
After 20 years of coaching couples, I’ve noticed something surprising: most couples don’t make conscious agreements about how they want to engage in their relationship — even though those who do are far more likely to stay connected and grow together through life’s hardest moments.
Some couples exchange vows at the altar, or talk logistics — who’s picking up the groceries, managing the finances, or handling bedtime — but real, conscious agreements — the kind that foster connection, deepen intimacy, and guide you through the hard moments, are shockingly rare.
And the cost of that? Misunderstandings that spiral into disconnection, unspoken expectations, and resentments that build quietly over time.
In this week’s episode of Practicing Love, I talk with Krista and Will Van Derveer — hosts of The Art of We podcast — about why relationship agreements are the foundation of lasting, loving partnerships.
We explore:
- How to create conscious agreements that evolve with you
- Why healing and intimacy grow in relationships where there is a mutual purpose
- What it means to listen generously — and why it changes a relationship more than you’d imagine
- How to navigate rupture and repair so conflicts bring you closer
- The difference between “I” and “We” space (and when and how to honor each)
Krista and Will share how their own journey — and their shared commitment to risk everything for love — led them to co-create a beautiful, grounded, and inspiring partnership. It’s not that they don’t struggle! When they do, they have the support of their agreements to hold them, and to remind them of how to best love each other.
Whether you’re in a relationship or preparing for one, this episode will help you understand the foundations of building a conscious connection.
To be clear, agreements aren’t about control — they’re about clarity and commitment. They help you feel safer to be your full, honest self, and create a better understanding of how to meet your and another’s needs.
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Connect with Krista and Will
Bio:
Hosts of The Art of We podcast, relationship coaches, business partners, and life partners, Krista and Will specialize in guiding couples to build secure, purpose-driven partnerships. With decades of experience in leadership, executive consulting, and integrative mental health, they help teams and couples alike leverage the strength of “We” to foster personal growth, partnership resilience, and meaningful contribution to the world.
Krista brings over 20 years of coaching women leaders, while Will integrates neuroscience and mental wellness into their relational framework. Together, they created The Art of We to model how a shared North Star, real agreements, and compassionate communication can transform a relationship into a force for positive impact.
Previously Published on Shana James Coaching
