Chaiyya means in the shadow of love in Hindi, and I knew that it would be the perfect name for my pup when I adopted him on November 2, 2009.
Chaiyya wasn’t so much adopted as he waited for me to show up to meet him. His foster mom had turned away several families who met him when he did not show any interest in them.
When I met Chaiyya, named AJ, it was love at first sight in his previous life. We gushed over each other and bonded from the first moment we locked eyes. His foster mom knew why he had not been interested in the other families when she saw that he was waiting for me to be his pup dad.
On the drive home, he seemed to relax and exhale, knowing that he was on his way to his forever home. He was calm and kept his eyes on me from the back seat.
We were in sync from the first day when it came to having dinner together and taking walks. He was eager to play and learn some new words. He was attentive to being near me and was never far from my side. This side by side lasted throughout his lifetime.
Chaiyya was a noble pup in every way. He was a great protector and ensured that the house and yard were secure, warding off any intruders with his loud barks.
He was a boy in every sense of the word; he loved rolling in the grass or, better yet, the leaves and rubbing his nose in the dirt to scratch it. He looked for adventure and often found it, like when he was in the hill country and came back from his walk with a roadrunner. He was so proud of bringing it to me.
He loved his backyard so much that I would have to call out his name and offer him a treat many times. In time, I didn’t have to call his name because he knew coming in meant getting a treat. He even went to the door to just go out and come back in for a treat.
The backyard backs up to a sidewalk with lots of foot traffic. When I called his name to come in, and the walkers would shout over the fence, be a good boy Chaiyya and go in the house.
When he became a big brother to his sister, Abbey, he was so excited to have someone in the house that looked like him. He was overzealous with her, and they ended up finding their groove. She misses him a lot and seems very sad that he is not there with her anymore.
Chaiyya came into my life when I needed him the most; I was recently out of a long-term relationship that had ended abruptly and with some significant hurts. My pups from that relationship stayed with their other dad, and it broke my heart more than the ending of the relationship.
Chaiyya was my contrast companion; he was with me at my side or on the bed cuddling with me nearly every day. This was big for me because I was a no-dogs on the bed person before him; how could I deny us the joy of our cuddles when we both needed them so much?
He had his patterns of where he would sleep during the day and night; he was very predictable in where he would be at what time. He often had to position himself to look at me from wherever he was lying or sitting.
He was noble in every sense of the word; he was gentle and kind and greeted people the first time and every time with enthusiasm and curiosity. He was loyal and the head of the household despite what the rest of us thought.
When he started to have mobility issues with his kind legs, I knew that I would have to face my worst fears of saying goodbye or good night to him for the last time.
He rallied with the love and care that I gave him for almost nine months; he knew his limitations and looked at me when he was ready for my support. When I wanted to do more for him than he could handle, my husband gently showed me how to take the lead from Chaiyya. It was a sweet thing to see him bring our bond to a whale new level.
Just when we could not be closer in my mind, he let me know that he was ready to say goodbye and good night. While I sat on the floor, he put his head in my lap so that I could massage his ears and pet him. He seems to be at peace being close to me. We were in the shadow of love, metaphorically.
On April 12, when I woke up and went to say good morning to him, he was there physically only. He had started to make his transition, and I knew that I had to make one of the most complex decisions of my life. Today was the say that I would say goodbye and good night to him for the last time.
I had been in contact with his godmother and nanny over the past 24 hours. Both reached out to me as I was sitting with him that morning. They became his earth angels and made arrangements for a vet to come to the house that afternoon.
His nanny came to the house before the vet arrived and got close to him, knowing he would leave us soon. She was more than his puppy sitter, she was his caregiver, and she loved him very much.
His godmother called my husband as the vet was getting settled in with Chaiyya. She was there for us, and she knew the special bond that we had since she was the one who had introduced us all those years ago.
My husband and I sat next to Chaiyya and put his head on a pillow in my lap. We stroked his ears and petting him as we told him how much that we loved him. We were so grateful for every experience and memory, and we wanted Chaiyya to hear us telling him as he went to sleep for the last time.
Our last tribute to our loving and loyal pup was to play his song while he went to sleep. His name Chiayya was from a song that one of my favorite composers, A.R. Rahman, had written for a Bollywood movie.
He went to sleep gently and quickly with us loving on him while listening to his song. I got the sense that he knew that he was loved and had lived an extraordinary life with us.
I miss him so much that it hurts, and sometimes I have to stop what I am doing and just sit with the sadness and grief. The depth of my sorrow seems to be proportionate to the level of our love.
With much gratitude. Chaiyya 11-2-2009 4-12-2021
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This post is republished on Medium.
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