“I feel like I have the best of both worlds –until people give us weird looks when my ‘dad’ grabs my ass.”
Remember me telling you about my friend Rachel a few months ago? Rachel who is 50 was being pursued by a young 30-something. While there was undeniable chemistry there, she was freaking out that she was practically old enough to be his mother.
So what does Rachel do? She dumps the guy (Advice to younger men dating older women: If you use sexting as your main mode of communication you had better be witty and spell properly). Rachel is now dating Graham who is almost 20 years older than her. And now she is freaking out about that. As she put it, “I’m still hung up on the “What will people think?” except now I’m boomeranging on the other side of the bell curve.”
Rachel summed up her relationship: “I must say, when things are going well with Graham, I feel like I have the best of both worlds — the body / sex drive/ lust for life/ fitness level of an 18 year old boy with the groundedness/ worldliness of a 68 year old man. That is, until we’re out in public and people give us weird looks when my “dad” grabs my ass. “
Rachel is conflicted. On the one hand, she’s having a great time with Graham. But on the other hand, she is feeling self-conscious and worried about the age gap.
After my first post about Rachel, dozens of you chimed in. The majority of your comments supported relationships where there is a big age gap. I think some of your comments bear repeating because they apply whether it is the woman or the man who is significantly older.
Christopher Frank: Age is a number only. What matters is how they feel. My wife is 9 years younger and I have dated as many as 17 years younger and 19 years older.
Gregory Greene: […] Who are you living for. Why do you allow the world into you life and why do you need to be accepted by people that care nothing about you. […]People life is short . There is no coming back .
Folkprincess: I’m currently seeing a younger man, with an almost 20 year age span for just over a year. […] He’s articulate, funny, sensitive and we have a lot in common […] He does want a family and I don’t so I know that his relationship has an expiry date attached to it. However, I am not going to let that interfere with getting to know an exceptional human being or learning more about how to interact in a healthy manner in a relationship. I know there isn’t a future for us but there is definitely a present. […]
Dale Dedrick Mines: I am in my 50s and she is in her 30s. All of my adult children are older than her. I have a grandson who is 8 years younger but we are happy as hell.
Nicole Roberts: […] Life is too short to focus on all the reasons we are afraid of putting ourselves out there, especially when the potential of something amazing happening is so great. […] All in all, Dr. Seuss said it best: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
What do you think? Is the advice the same when a younger woman is dating an older man? Comment below.
Originally published: The Relationship Deal