The past two days, I’ve called in sick at work. I haven’t tested positive for COVID (I’ve tested four times), but I’ve had every COVID symptom in the book, from a sore throat, fever, cough, and loss of taste. After this last test, I can safely say I don’t have COVID.
I haven’t been sick in three years, and while I’ve been prioritizing rest and recovery, this illness has been hitting me like a train! I guess that’s what so much quarantine and loss of immunity can do to you, even if you’re someone who runs marathons and is still at a peak physical age of your mid-20s like myself.
In pre-COVID times I probably would have still shown up to work as the dedicated and loyal employee I am, but now, it’s just bad decorum to show up to work when you have COVID symptoms, particularly when you’re a teacher and you’re exposed to hundreds of adults and children a day.
So I called in sick the last two days of the week, and here’s what happened.
I tried to be productive but failed
I’ve tried to work at home for my job and tried to write. I’ve really tried — but I feel like I’ve barely gotten anything done. My writing felt very stale and stagnant, and I spent what seemed like hours staring at blank pages and not seeming to get anything done.
Here I was, coughing up a storm and using every tissue box in the house, beating myself up for not being productive.
It took a lot of urging from friends and my fiancee to say “fuck it” to productivity.
At the same time, being sick can be incredibly boring, and time can pass by really slowly. I didn’t really care what I was doing if I’m being honest
Instead, I changed my goal. I just wanted to have fun and have time pass by as quickly as possible, prioritizing relaxing above anything else.
I tried to have fun and failed for a while
I just watched TV and played video games. I’ve been watching Better Call Saul and playing Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. I’ve been trying to catch up on books.
I stopped checking my email and writing reports in any capacity. Fun is something I’ve lost in a constant quest for self-improvement or dedication to work. I’m 25 years old, a teacher, a graduate student, about to get married, and just a very busy person in general.
Getting sick and taking the first real sick days of my early career as a teacher has left me pretty bored if I’m being honest. Normally, you can find a lot of fun in being home all day and being at liberty to do whatever you want.
But I find I’m just bored because I derive a lot of fun out of social interaction. While I and many others have spent a lot of time alone in the past several years, I thought those quarantine days were over, right?
Even tasks I did devote to the “relaxing” category like watching TV, playing video games, and sleeping weren’t that relaxing because I could barely breathe at some points.
Somehow, it all changed
Today, I spent six hours playing Breath of the Wild and opened myself to the beautiful world of the game. It was one of those immersions where I looked at the clock and an hour went by without me noticing.
I could write a whole article about what a great game Breath of the Wild is, but I stopped treating my sick days as all or nothing. The fact is I wasn’t in the bed binging Netflix for most of my time being sick (only for part of it), and I did just feel restless because I was bored.
I did become more productive later on, but only on my own terms and prioritizing recovery. I wrote when I felt like it. I checked my email when I felt like it.
I just could not be in bed all day, but I also did not go outside in case I had COVID.
I did have more fun with the latter half of Better Call Saul, but I learned I simply had more fun and could function normally because I was getting better.
My congestion hit its peak two days after the symptoms started, which was the most miserable day of the illness. To no one’s surprise, my physical, mental, and emotional health were all interconnected. Today, I feel like I can breathe and haven’t used up half the house’s tissue boxes, so I’m happy I can get back to normal soon.
Takeaway: just let yourself be sick!
For some reason, I used to have this impression being sick was like a vacation for me (before a global pandemic that has killed over a million Americans, of course). You can stay at home and attend to your hobbies all day.
But it isn’t because, well, you feel like shit. To my credit, I cut out running for a couple of days because I knew it would prolong my recovery.
Sometimes, you have to just let yourself be sick. Take it as easy as you can to get better as fast as you can. I haven’t really read for fun for hours at a time in a while, but getting sick gave me a chance.
You might also feel a lot of pressure to get things done while sick. And there are probably non-negotiables around the house that do need to get done — you need to drink water and feed yourself, after all, and you probably have cleanliness standards too.
But the most important thing is always rest and recovery. Everything else is just icing on the cake.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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