Jacqueline Stone is in the business of love, but that’s not why she’s hoping that as we let our judgments slip away we’ll find a new call to romance.
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Getty Images just did an Image Trend presentation on something they’re calling “Gender Blend” and The Good Men Project asked for our thoughts. The webinar with Pam Grossman was incredibly fascinating and took me back to my days at GW getting my undergrad in Sociocultural Anthropology. Deborah Tannen was my hero, I did a 15 page paper on Sex and the City and my senior thesis was all about gender and culture.
Stay-at-home dads, powerful women, gay and lesbian couples, and transgendered individuals are all becoming part of the daily conscious.
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There is so much that can be said about breaking down the gender stereotypes, but just have to bring it back to the world I’m in now: the business of love. I build custom engagement rings for couples around the country. It’s always a riveting exchange of information between me and my clients. On a daily basis I get to learn more about the language of love and how that transcends race, class, religion, gender and sexual orientation. Love is a powerful thing and it’s an honor to try to bring these love stories to life.
The nuclear family of the 1950s has slowly and softly disintegrated with much chagrin and calls to “the good old days’. This family consisted of dad at work, mom in the kitchen, two kids, a dog and a white picket fence. In the 1960s we had feminism come to the forefront with strong voices of activists such as the renowned Gloria Steinem. Women started entering into the workplace, bras were burned (or rumored to be burned, it’s a good sound bite), and romance entered the era of the “great confusion” as I like to call it. Who is the boss? Has chivalry died? Who asks who on a date?
… romance entered the era of the “great confusion” as I like to call it. Who is the boss? Has chivalry died? Who asks who on a date?
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Fast forward to 2004 when Massachusetts legalized gay marriage and changed the game yet again. I wasn’t surprised, a summer in Provincetown in 1999 was a truly eye opening experience for this straight girl living in a gay mecca. It was my first exposure to the Human Rights Campaign and provided a profound understanding of the transcendental nature of love. This tribe of horrifically discriminated people had bound together to find a safe haven. They decided to love anyway, no matter the cost.
I’ve been a hopeless romantic since childhood. I live for love stories. I truly believe when you take away the scaffolding of all our material objects, our false pretenses, our judgments and our ambitions, love is the only thing that remains. I’m thrilled to see that society is catching up to my “liberal” beliefs and is starting to share the same sentiments. Stay-at-home dads, powerful women, gay and lesbian couples, and transgendered individuals are all becoming part of the daily conscious.
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What I hope to see happens next as we let the judgments slowly slip away, is a new call to romance. I’ve often scared a man away with my love notes, my thoughtful gestures and my compliments. I “came on too strong” or I “want more than I’m willing to give.” I disagree completely. Over the past few years I’ve undergone a massive spiritual overhaul and had to examine things in my life that I wanted to change. At the top of my list: dating, and reaffirming what romance means to me.
I can’t wait for the day where it’s commonplace for a women to bring a man flowers, for a gay couple to kiss passionately anywhere in America, and we don’t give a second look to a transgendered person, let alone provide a negative remark.
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I went through an incredible exercise that let me examine not only my ideal man and my ideal relationship, but it forced me to look at how I would like to show up for the relationship. On my worksheet: supportive, and helps my mate meet his goals, doesn’t make my man my higher power, gives great hugs, puts my loved one at ease after a long, hard day, open, understanding, honest. I could go on, but you get the point. I think it’s an exercise we could all benefit from as we are letting go of old ideals and embracing new ones. Unfortunately romance seemed to get lost in the shuffle.
I can’t wait for the day where it’s commonplace for a women to bring a man flowers, for a gay couple to kiss passionately anywhere in America, and we don’t give a second look to a transgendered person, let alone provide a negative remark. I also can’t wait for the day where our children are reading about racism in history books and exclaiming: “Wow, you guys were nuts,” but that’s a story for a different day. Getty Images calls it Genderblend. I call it a partnership, a friendship, a soulmate, a romance and most of all, the greatest love story this country has told thus far: love and acceptance.